Can't hate you || e.d

Coco

Y/n

I was driving back home.. and this one damned song was playing....

The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez

I hated how every word of her graceful voice stung my heart so bitter.. I hated how I felt each of her words and how I couldn't stop thinking about Ethan even tho he was the one ho hurt me.

I knew thinking about it would only make it worse and now even a whole day passed since he decided to destroy my life but I just couldn't stop thinking about him. It was true he destroyed my life.. Charlie was the only one that I hated but I couldn't stay at her place forever and I wasn't going to go back to my mom.. to hell. I had nobody and I gave everything up for him. Everything.. but wash that what I wanted? Didn't I decide on my own?

I pushed the button and as soon as the the CD came out of the drive I broke it into tiny pieced and threw it out of the window. My hand started bleeding from a cut it but I couldn't feel the pain because it was nothing agains what I was feelings on the inside..

Ethan

I was sitting in my office. I was planning. Thinking of her. Reading what I wrote again. Thinking of her. Reading what I wrote again. Thinking of her and reading what I wrote again because I didn't understand a word since my thoughts kept drifting away and I couldn't concentrate.

I finally picked heard my phone ring and picked up when I saw Josh's name on the display.. "Bro! Charles followed her but he lost her." he said and he sounded like he was really sorry. I just sighed.
"How the fuck did he manage to lose her? Did she drive into a labyrinth or something? I think the fuck not. Tell him to be more careful next time."

I was pissed and I didn't want to let it all out on Josh since even the tiniest thing could make me lose my mind.

"Is she back at Charlie?" I asked and looked at my watch. It was 6pm. Where was she and what did she do? Who was she with and did she think of me? She dint even text me.. I mean I dint text her either but I thought she would at least call me or sent me a message about how much she hated me and how stupid I would be and that she would never want to see me or talk to me again but it seemed like I hurt her more than I thought and I hated myself for that.

Y/n

I knocked onto the door and when she opened I entered. I was more aggressive and mad than I was before.

I was mad at myself because I was so confused. I should hate Ethan. I should hate him for what he's done to me and that he didn't even try to apologize. He just didn't care about my feelings and I hated myself because I was still driving his car. I hated myself because I was still loving him and didn't spent a second without thinking about him since I left. I hated myself because I had the urge to help Grayson to rip Ethan's heart out but how much would that help any of us? Would he even care? Probably not because he had a new girl. Even thinking about this fact destroyed me.

Besides that, I didn't want to get too much into this business with Grayson because I knew myself. I would lose control because of my anger and do anything to hurt Ethan back and that was another thing that I hated because actually I was never that kind of person and I wasn't planning on being one like that.. but I needed to do at least something.. at least find out what happened between them too and then I could still decide in which direction I could throw myself and to be honest it didn't even matter if I was going to stay on Grayson's side because Ethan didn't want me anymore. We weren't going to come back together.. even tho a little piece of me was still hoping for it...

I looked at my palm and heard Charlie's voice. "Y/n where have you been??" she asked totally worried and I felt sorry because I made her worry more than she was already worrying. I took a deep breath. "Just drove a few times around the block.. no need to worry..." I lied hoping it would comfort her and I felt awful for lying to her. She smiled and walked towards me.