Can't hate you || e.d

Protective

Sun

We went to school together in the next morning. I could already imagine to live with him. I've always imagined that because we were never spending time apart as long as we didn't have to and it already felt like we were living together.. it was totally normal for us but I wanted more than that. I loved it and I wanted to wake up next to him every morning..

I didn't turn my phone on until the second period because I didn't feel the need to but then I needed to look something up for history and got spammed with all the messages that Jason sent me last night.

I saw all the missed calls and I really wanted to throw up. I wasn't sure for how long I could hide it. But I already had enough of it.

And then he called.. he called in that ducking moment. I answered it immediately, after looking around and being sure that I was alone in class.

"Please don't call me. Leave me alone. I can't talk to you! Not about this!" I said as fast as I could. I held my breath. That's what I've been doing since that night...

"I know.. you're probably mad and it's making you uncomfortable.. but you need to know that I can't stop thinking about you. Sun, I love you and I can't stop thinking about you. I don't rush you or anything but now that you know it.. I can't stay away from you and my fucking head just won't stop.." he said and with every painful word of his my eyes started burning more and I felt the urge to cry.. I did cry. Tears rolled down my cheek, although I didn't want them to. I didn't want to cry because of him. I couldn't control it.

"Stop saying that! Stop saying that you love me! I only love Dean! Stop!" I said, wanting to scream but only whispering.

Why did he have to be a psychopath, why did he have to make me feel like this, why did he have to ruin everything? Why now?

"Okay... Okay I know you're overwhelmed but please give me a chance to explain myself! This all sounds so wrong! You know me! Trust me!" he said and I was close to explode. I clenched my jaw. "No I don't! I don't know you! I thought I would know you! You've always had bad intentions! Dad is going to kill you if he finds out about this!" I was so angry that I wanted to go and punch him..

"Don't you dare to threaten me with him! Don't push me to the edge! I've been here before Dean and I showed you how much I love you so many times but you couldn't see it.. I don't want to be mean to you.. I could never hurt you so don't make me do things that I don't want to do." he said and my heart stopped for a second.

He was serious.. he wasn't hesitating. He was getting dangerous.. He got angry. I could hear it in his voice.. but then he got soft again.

I started sobbing quietly but he heard it.

"Please don't cry.. I wish I could be with you and hug you now.. I don't want to make you cry. I only want to love you. That's all." he said and his voice sounded really soft, filled with guilt.

I couldn't hear it anymore.. I didn't want to hear how he said "love".

I prayed to got that this was a test. I really wanted to believe that they were testing me to see what I was going to do in a situation like this.. but it didn't seem like that.

"Look I.. think about it.. I won't confuse you. Tell me what you think of or feel when we come for the mission.." he said and he sounded sad. I swallowed and it felt really really heavy.

I couldn't scream at him or tell him to stop because I knew how stubborn he was.. he wasn't going to stop, no matter what I was going to do.. I just nodded although he couldn't see it. "Okay.." I said and tried to stop crying. I wiped my tears away.