Can't hate you || e.d

Heavy past

Y/n

She just entered. She just entered and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move. I couldn't even close the door. I couldn't stop her. All I could do was watch her move.. I was frozen until I got myself back together and followed her. She was walking way too fast so I almost had to run. It seemed like she knew where she was going. As if she's already been here a million times.

The last time I saw her was when I left her for Ethan.. that was the last time she saw me too. I was seventeen back then... and nineteen years later she was just standing in front of me.. seeing what I built, how I grew up and changed. She missed all these years because I didn't let her be a part of it.. because I decided to leave her.. and she never looked for me.

I even forgot about her. I gave up. I thought I was never going to see her again. I didn't expect her to stand in front of me one day... probably because I didn't want to see her.. I never told the kids anything about her because I didn't want them to be curious about her.. I knew she wasn't going to be a part of my life. That's why they would have never had a chance to meet her, so there was no need to tell them. I didn't want them to get to know someone like her..

I saw that she didn't change a bit and I wanted her to disappear immediately. I wanted it to be a dream and that I could have another chance to open that door and see someone else in front of me.

My heart was racing when she looked around. She seemed impressed. Her devilish and narcissistic smile was making me crazy.. it scared me.. she scared me. I didn't want to feel small again. I didn't want to go back again. I've never felt like this.. I've never felt that bad.. I've never felt that destroyed. My whole past was running after me, chasing me, trying to bring me down to the ground, back on my knees.. I wanted to know what she wanted so she could just go away.. but I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.. she wasn't that easy..

"Is that the house you bought with the money that you got from my bank?" she asked and I lost everything in that moment. My past hit me right into my face and my stomach so hard that I forgot about reality. I couldn't realize what was going on. All I could think of was how we robbed that bank and what we went through.. what happened after that and what it got us into.. she knew exactly how to knock me out.

"Well at least it was a good choice. Did you marry the guy that you left me for? That you left your own mother for?"

I didn't nod. I didn't answer. I didn't move. I didn't breathe. I couldn't. It was too much for me..

"Don't be so shy. We're not meeting for the first time. You're my daughter." she said reminding me of it, as if I wouldn't know it and it felt like I got punched again. My whole body was hurting.. I wanted to cry, I wanted her to leave. I wanted to lose it and freak out. I wanted to scream like a baby. I was panicking. I wanted to open my mouth because I wanted to know what she wanted from me.. why she was here after all these years, and how she found me, and since when she was looking for me, but she saw the pictures over our fireplace and rushed towards them. She seemed surprised and shocked.. she looked at them for way too long. I wanted to take them off the wall and hide them. I wanted to hide everything from her. I didn't want her to know about anything that had to do with my life because it's been a while since she wasn't a part of it anymore.

"Are these.. your children? Do you have children? Oh my god.. you do.." she said and covered her mouth with her hand. She was shocked.. seriously shocked. I couldn't tell if it hurt her...

I wasn't planning on saying anything.. even if I wanted it to. I just couldn't.. it was too much for me and I was really close to a breakdown.