Can't hate you || e.d

Everything for love

Luna

I was hiding. Literally hiding. I didn't go to school. I didn't go out with friends. I didn't even went grocery shopping with mom. I didn't look out of the window, I didn't even open the window. I was living in anxiety since I found out that my boyfriend was in the gang of his dad.

I made up such huge scenes in my head that I swore myself I was never going to come close to him again.. I swore myself that I was never going to talk to him again. That I was never going to see him again. It was safer for me. It was better for us both..

I loved him. I really loved him. I never thought I could love so much in such a short time and I never wanted to let him go. I was ready to give up my family for him. I was ready to love him even if he wasn't going to love me.. but this had nothing to do with us, yet it was able to destroy everything.

I didn't sign up for this. I would've died if something would have happened to him. I couldn't live with this tense. I couldn't live like he wanted it.. especially after finding out about it. I wouldn't always worry about him and wake up praying that he wouldn't get shot or kidnapped. I couldn't risk losing him or losing myself. It was too dangerous..

Two days passed and I didn't answer any of his messages or calls. I didn't do anything. I just stayed at home and tried to clear my mind. But now I needed to text him.

'I'll keep it to myself. But it's better if we end this here. I love you but please stay away from me.'

This was so hard for me that I bursted out in tears. It was breaking my heart but it was really the best.. for both of us. There was nothing I could do about it. I didn't do it only for me. I did it for him as well.

As long as I was going to be there, he was going to have to worry about me or anybody finding out that I knew it. He didn't have to lie to me anymore when he was going somewhere. He didn't have to think of me anymore when he was busy..

I didn't have to think of him and worry when he was on a dangerous mission. I didn't have to hide this secret from people because I had nothing to do with him anymore.

I wasn't stupid. I saw things like these in the news, in movies, in the streets of ghettos and more. That I was innocent and a little introvert didn't mean that I didn't know what this all meant and how serious it actually was.

I put my phone away and quickly wiped my tears away when mom knocked on my door. She came in and she looked very sad.

"Sweety, what's wrong? You don't seem very happy lately.." she said with a soft voice and walked towards me. I shook my head and tried to smile softly. "Does it have something to do with Moon?" she asked and her voice got a little more serious.

I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

They still didn't solve the problems with Avery and Oliver so they were still not accepting Moon. They still didn't know that I was meeting him secretly.

I had to beg them to let me spend Christmas with a 'friend' because they were going to celebrate it with a few of dad's colleagues and I didn't want to join them.

"No. I just feel really sick lately." I said and swallowed. I clenched my jaw in anger. She didn't even care about how I was feeling. The only thing that was important to her was if he was close to me or not. Like he was some dangerous poison or something... maybe he was..

"We're going to the mall with Avery and your dad. Do you want me to bring you something?" she asked, stroking my back. I looked at her and shook my head. I didn't want to be a part of their fake happy family.