Can't hate you || e.d

First heartbreak

Moon

I slowly opened my eyes.. it was still dark. Not darker than it was a few minutes ago.. but still dark.. I could see a few lights and smell the street.. the taste of my own blood on my lips and the dirt beneath me. I couldn't feel anything at all.. I wasn't sure if I was in pain or not.. I slowly turned around and got on my back. I looked at the dark sky and it seemed so empty.

As if all the stars disappeared...

I was out of breath, although I didn't even do anything. I didn't even know what happened or how it happened. I just panicked. I quickly looked around and tried to get myself back together. I tried to sit up but everything was spinning.

It was spinning too fast and I felt like I couldn't get up on my own. Nobody was around. There was nobody who I could ask for help. Most importantly.. Skylar wasn't there..

I used every muscle and every nerve and got up. The motorcycle was laying on the ground. It seemed like someone destroyed it with a baseball bat or something.

I asked myself how it was possible that I was still alive and where Skylar was..

Maybe she ran away because she was scared or someone helped her or she went to get help.. I wasn't sure but I felt the emptiness and it scared me.. I felt the loneliness..

My nose was running and my chest was hurting. I felt it. In that moment I just felt it.

I wasn't stupid or dumb.

She left me.

No matter where she went.. she left me alone there like that.. she wasn't with me.. I felt it with the emptiness of the sky.. no clouds, no stars.. no life.. no universe.. no love.. it felt like it all disappeared and just lost its colors. Lost its worth. I didn't have to be a genius to understand what just happened.. the feeling in my guts was already enough..

Soon I was just laying there as an emotional crying mess, with a racing heart that was broken.

Ethan

Thank god I let the boys follow him. Otherwise he wouldn't be sitting here in front of me with red, wet eyes, tears over his cheeks, a whipping leg, shaking like he was going to explode and his hands folded in front of his mouth, biting one of his thumbs of anger. He would still be sitting on the street and doing all these things.

He was only looking at the fireplace that I was leaning onto, across from him. He was so angry.. I've never seen him so angry. His eyes were spitting hate and anger.

I knew exactly what this was going to do to him. His first love broke his heart. Maybe he was never going to love again. Maybe he was going to realize that it wasn't even really love. Only lust.

His nose was running. I could see the muscle on his chin. It was visible how hard he clenched his jaw. I knew it was going to end like this and I didn't want to stop it because I wanted him to make this experience. Even if it was going to hurt him.

I wanted him to know that there was never going to be anybody else than his parents that would love him that much, support him and get him out of every shit.

He wasn't looking at me or talking. So I didn't do it either. I knew exactly how he felt but I also knew how different Moon was. Different than me. So I couldn't even imagine what kind of hurricanes and storms were going through his brain in that moment.

Moon

On the way here dad told me everything. What he said and what she said when they were alone in that hotel room. How she left with David after I was laying there like a helpless, stupid piece of shit...