you sat in Ashton’s lap as the two of you sat and gazed at the television screen. Every Friday night you two would have movie night. You loved how you would just sit for hours in his lap whilst watching many movies. His cold hand slowly traced up your leg and around your thigh. You shivered under his touch. Lately he had been very… needy. He would try and get you to say yes to sleeping with him but you just went ready yet. Its not that you were a virgin or anything its just that you were embarrassed about your body. The way it looked and the scars on it. You stopped self harming a little after you met ash but just because you stopped it didn’t mean that you had forgotten about it. Every day you would see the scars. And to tell the truth you were scared to tell ash. You pushed his hand away
“Ash stop” you sighed
“Why (Y/N)? You know I’ve been waiting like a good boy” he smirked nipping at your neck.
Once again you pushed him away. He was really getting on your nerve. You stood up.
“Why won’t you let me? I mean your not a virgin or anything so why not?” He moved closer
“Because. . Just because ”
“Do you not trust me” he sounded offended
“You don’t understand OK?” You raised your voice
“Maybe if you let me fuck you at least once I’d fucking understand” he spat
“I just don’t want you to see my body” you looked down
“Really?? Is this what this is about? Jesus (Y/N)! Why do you have to be so insecure!? Its pathetic really!” He yelled clearly frustrated
He wanted to know. So you did the last thing you wanted to. You lifted the material of your shorts up so you could see the scars.
“This is why Ashton” you spoke softly as tears started spilling out and onto your face
You tried to swallow the now emerging lump in your throat as you looked at Ashton. His face now in a much softer expression. Almost a hurt one. You shook your head, letting tears stream down your face.
“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t know” he said gently reaching for you.
You backed away before grabbing your bag.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving. I obviously can’t satisfy you. I’m sorry for wasting your time” “No. Please don’t go. You cant” he started to sob
His green eyes looked deep into your ones. A single tear trickled down his cheek as he grabbed your hand
“I need you. I can’t lose you” he looked down
“But I’m all scarred and ugly… you don’t need me”
It killed you to see him cry. You had only see him cry once before but it hurt a lot. It’s almost as if his eyes lost all sense of colour and feeling to them.
“With or with out scars.. your beautiful.. you always will be” he moved a strand of hair out of your face
“Please don’t go” he whispered looking at you
You put your bag down as a small smile appeared on his face. You giggled a bit and he embraced you in a bone crushing hug.
“And one more thing babe. If you ever need someone to talk to or someone to just be there, I’m always here. I’d understand a lot more than you’d know."
