mileven oneshots

where do i go

*trigger warning: includes self harm*

el rushed down to hallway of the second floor, going into her room and slamming the door shut.

she quickly locked it and slid down the door, covering her sobs with her hand.

multiple knocks began to arise from the other side, making her jump.

she cowered to the corner of her room as she heard her family's calls.

   "el! open the door!" shouted hopper, growing worried.

   "leave me alone!" she yelled back.

   "honey, please just let us in." said joyce. el began shaking her head, tears trickling down her red cheeks.

   "j-just go aw-way!" stuttered el.

she had just been told from her parents that terry had died a couple hours ago due to her diagnosis.

it had already been a bad month for her, and all she wanted and waited so long to do was see her mother.

she knew just seeing her would make everything better but now she was gone, but brenner was back. and el had no power to face him, she was weak.

there were too many reasons why she couldn't confront him. he had done so much to her she still doesn't know how she's still alive.

the abuse, the trauma, the nightmares she has every night, the pain he's brought to her family, it was all too much.

and why would the beautiful, great family she has endured during her teen years want a weak, useless girl? who didn't know how to read, write, or say most words.

el picked herself up from the floor when she no longer heard their calls.

she sat down on her bed, right beside her drawer, and pulled open the top one. she rummaged through her clothes and found a razor.

during her depression, she would harm herself and cry for hours, all of the bullying in school and trauma getting to her.

it went on for alomst a year, that is until her family found out about what she had been doing.

they helped her through the tough times, and she hadn't done anything to help them back lately.

   "you're a useless, ugly human being. nobody cares if you disappear, they all just want you to die." cried el, repeating a few words said to her by a boy in her class.

she watched the sharp blade arise from the cover, tears blurred in her eyes.

she took a deep breath and shakily brought the blade towards her wrist, being only inches away from her skin. she examined the cuts from before, more tears rushing down her cheeks.

suddenly, hard knocking arose from the door. "el! please open the door!"

she recognized that voice anywhere, it was mike.

   "go away, mike." whimpered el, continuing to stare at the blade.

   "don't do this, el! please don't...i know this is hard. you're going through alot of pain right now but it's all going to be okay." replied mike.

   "no! nothing is okay! she's gone, mike. i'll never ever get to see one of the most important people in my life. and with that monster back, having no power against him. it's like..." trailed off el.

   "like what?" asked mike.
   "like i'm not useful in this family anymore. if i can't save you from him, if i just let you all die because of my stupid weaknesses... there's no purpose for me to live anymore. i can't live like this anymore!" yelled el, closing the space between the blade and her wrist.

she whimpered in pain as it made contacts with her skin, blood rising from the cut. she slit it across her wrist and quickly removed it.

more pounding slammed against the door, commotionfrom her family and friends being heard.

   "no el!" sobbed mike, "i-i need you in my life! you are the only person keeping me alive in this world, i can't lose you again. when you were gone, i was such a mess. it was terrible, i have to admit. like i was holding in a long breath during those days. and when you came back, my whole world changed. it was like i was on top of the world, i was finally able to exhale. every moment i spend with you is so special to me and i really can't imagine my life without you. the rest and i know you've made theirs and my life so much better, you've kept me alive, el."

el dropped the razor on the floor and looked at the picture on her bed stand.

it was of her and mike at the snowball, both having annoyed looks on their faces after jonathan had told them to move over ten times.

she slightly smiled at the memory and picked it up, rubbing her finger past mike's face.

   "i love you, el." cried mike.

then it hit her, everything she had worked for, everything she's learned and accomplished was all because of mike.

he taught her everything she knew. he introduced her to this cruel world but showed her such beautiful aspects of it. her family and friends and a true home.

mike was her home, he was keeping her alive.

she closed her eyes shut and let out a loud scream, the windows in her room shattering.

she stood up to open the door but felt herself fall instantly, making her unlock the door with her mind.

it immediately slammed open, mike finding the broken girl cowering to the corner.

   "oh my god..." he rushed over and pulled her into his arms tightly, feeling her arms wrap around his waist as she buried her head into his chest.

max kneeled beside them and picked up the razor, showing it to them all.

   "give that to me." instructed hopper, looking at all of the kids with watery eyes. he took it from the redhead and went out of the room, joyce following from behind.

   "everything will be alright, we all love you so much." mike shut his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, and rubbed her back with one hand and gesturing his friends with the other.

dustin, lucas, max, and will wrapped their arms around the couple, sobs escaping one another.

   "i love you guys too. and i promise i'll never leave you." stated el.

mike kissed her forehead and nuzzled his head into her shoulder, the group embracing each other in tears.

i love making u all happy !

inspired by: where do i go? by vague003, 1-800-273-8255 by logic, and let you down by NF