Head canons

Science Cursing (WTNV)

253 words. Taken from oneofthescientistsofnightvale.

     One day, Carlos spilled some chemicals. They didn't burn a hole in the floor, but it made a mess.
     "Murphy's freaking LAW!" He said. Someone laughed and handed him a broom.

     The next day, a spider got into the lab was was going around biting people. It was harmless, but it hurt. The spider bit Carlos.
     "SON OF A CLONAL REPTILE!" He said, a scientist gasped.

     An hour later, half the lab was hallucinating because of the spider. Carlos wasn't hallucinating yet, but he was trying to find an antidote quickly.
     "Where are my ASEXUALLY REPRODUCING test tubes!?" He shouted to anyone who was still sane.
     "Third drawer on the right." One of the scientists said.

     One day, Cecil was at the lab, complaining about someone trying to take over Night Vale. Carlos wasn't really thinking about what he was saying,
     "That piece of a small sample size." He said, still looking through the microscope.
     Cecil thought it was cute, the other scientists gasped.

     The next day, the person trying to take over Night Vale came to the lab.
     "Am I going to have to introduce you to some of my mammalian physiology?" Carlos asked.
     The person didn't know that to say. They gave up on taking over Night Vale.

     "YOU STATISTICAL OUTLIER!" Carlos shouted.
     All the scientists in the lab turned to look at him. He was yelling at a failed experiment. It had failed 20 times and this time it looked like it was going to work until the last step.