Head canons

Wrong Names (TUA)

540 words. taken from umbrella.academy.memes1 on Instagram.

Diego: When people get too chummy, I like to call them by the wrong names. It lets them know I don't really care.

Five: That's a genius move.

Diego: Thanks.

Five: No problem, Dora.

Diego: What did you just call me... Four?

Klaus: I didn't call you anything. I wasn't talking to you, was I Ben?

Ben: No matter what I say, they won't know.

Klaus: This is why everyone thinks I'm crazy.

Ben: People think you're crazy for more reasons than that.

Diego: We think you're crazy for more reasons than that.

Ben: Told you.

Klaus: Well no one asked you.

Ben: Yeah, you did.

Five: Anyway, see you later, Dora, Santa Claus.

Diego: I never should have told him that.

Klaus: Yeah, probably.

Diego:*starts to leave*

Klaus: Hey, where are you going?

Diego: Stay here.

Klaus: Let me get my jacket

Diego: I'm not waiting forever, Clues.

Luther: Diego, leave me alone!

Diego: That sounded nothing like your name you moron.

Luther: Well it did to me.

Diego: Well you're a moron. Hurry up, Klaus!

Klaus: Coming! Oh, hey, Loser.

Luther: I hate you, Diego.

Diego: I didn't even say anything.

Luther: No, but you started it.

Diego: Come on, Klaus. Let's go. Lanyard is being annoying.

Vanya: Is someone talking to me for once?

Luther: Diego called me Lanyard.

Vanya: Why?

Luther: He says he likes to call people by the wrong name.

Vanya: Oh. See you later, Lason.

Allison: Where are you going, Vanya.

Vanya: I thought Luther was talking to me but he wasn't. Now, everyone is calling everyone else by the wrong name.

Allison: Why?

Vanya: I don't know. Diego started it.

Diego: I did not!

Klaus: When are we leaving?

Five: You did start it.

Ben: You know no one is listening, right?

Luther: There was no reason to call me a loser.

Delores:

Five: I know.

Allison: Hey, Cinco.

Five: Ha! Joke's on you. Cinco is Five in Spanish.

Allison: I know.

Diego: You don't get it. You're supposed to call them by the wrong name.

Allison: No, the joke's on you because I heard a rumor you all called each other by the wrong name for the rest of the day.

Diego: I do that anyway.

Ben: Let's get out of here.

Klaus: Sure thing, Bill.

Diego: This is all Finn's fault.

Delores:

Five: Listen, Dianna, I don't care. It was Dora's idea.

Diego: Stop calling me Dora.

Vanya: Hey, Loser, this is what happens when you make Diego mad.

Luther: At least people aren't calling you Loser.

Diego: I like that. Good job, Valery.

Vanya: Look what you've done, Anna.

Allison: Hey, Kaden, do you find this amusing?

Klaus: Yep.

Allison: Well, this wears off at Midnight, so avoid talking about each other to the police I guess. *leaves*

Diego: You're just going to leave us like this! Come on, Karson.

Klaus: So, Barry, what do you want to eat?

Ben: Why aren't you asking Damien?

Luther: Loser isn't even a name, Victoria.

Vanya: Sorry, I don't make the rules, Lucifer.

Luther: That's worse!

Five: Come on, Della, let's get away from these idiots.

Delores:

Five: You know I hate the name Felix.

Delores:

Five:*sighs* *teleports with Delores*