Head canons

YouTube (7/7) (TUA)

419 words.

Subscribers
81,001

Video
     Five is sitting in a dark room. The only lights are on him and Delores. Five is starting into the camera.
     "Today, I'm going to explain how the Illuminati NOT Bush, did 9/11."
     Five has an intro. It plays at this point. When the intro is over, the lights are on.
     "So, I know there's a popular theory that Bush did 9/11. Let me tell you right now, that it's freaking false. Some people say the Illuminati is fake, but they are very real, aren't they, Delores?"
     Five pauses.
     "So, the Illuminati doesn't call themselves the freaking Illuminati, but they'll kill me if I tell you what they're really called." Five pauses. "I know, Delores." Another pause. "You know I don't care." Another pause. "You know what, Delores has persuaded me to tell you. The Illuminati is really called the Commission. I used to work for them, but I quit because they're freaking crazy. They wanted me to assinate JFK.
     "Anyway, 9/11 was destined to happen. The Commission had to make sure it happened, so they killed the pilots and replaced them with their own kamikaze pilots. It was never freaking terriorists, it was the Commission. Delores, what are your thoughts?"
     Five pauses for about three minutes, knodding every now and then. After the three minutes, Five starts talking again.
     "That's a good point and I'm sorry." Pause. "I had to stay alive." Pause. "Yes, Delores, I do care for you. I had a plan. I explained it all to you when I got back." Another pause. "I'm sorry you died, but I reversed the timeline and you're alive now." Pause. "Well the appocalypse didn't happen." Pause. "I'm just going to sign out.
     "So... that's how the freaking Illuminati did 9/11. I tried to say 'freaking' because Delores said that cursing is causing me to be demonitized. Subscribe."

Comments
No.5Hargreeves: YAS!!!!! 👑👑👑👑👑 YOU GO WITH THOSE CONSPIRICIES!!!!! 💯💯💯💯💪💪💪  LOVE YOU DELORES, YOU KEEP HIM STRAIGHT!!!!😃😃😃😃😃👗👗👑👑👑🏆🏆🏆
Handler: Agents have been sent for your immident termination
Kenny'sMom: Thank you so much for making your content family friendly. My son, Kenny, loves conspiricy theories and I think it's so cute that you know so much about them. I think if you gave Kenny a chance, you two could be really good friends! ☺
Liz: And everyone thought your brother was on crack...