Forever Home | Draco Malfoy

Chapter 4-19: The Glimmer of a Citrine Heart

Desiree awoke to the feeling of a warm breeze spreading throughout the castle. She sat up to realize Draco and Pansy were gone. She was alone. Today was the first day she felt like not lying in her bed. She knew if she stayed she would end up falling back into the darkness she had just barely managed to crawl out of. She placed her feet on the cold ground on her own for the first time in was felt like ages. Her legs shook as she shifted her weight to them. She took a few deep breaths and noticed that shaking began to subside.

"I just need to take a step," she whispered to herself. She moved her right foot forward towards her trunk. With her first step Desiree felt as though she was walking on a thin sheet of ice. Trying hard to not fall into the icy terrors that lie below. "Now just take another step," she whispered to herself again. Her voice was almost a hoarse whisper by now. She walked over to her trunk and began rummaging through it to find the blanket she had never given back to Cedric. Just as she grabbed it she saw a light, a glimmer shining on the edge of her trunk. It was the sun hitting the heart charm on Desiree's bracelet; the charm Cedric had given her. She looked to the window of her room. She wasn't sure how the sun had managed to shine through the water of the Black Lake but it was. It shining bright against the citrine colored gemstone heart. It was a glimmer of hope.

Desiree had a slight grin grow on her face as she rubbed the charm. "I know what I need to do," she whispered to herself. She gently placed the blanket and bracelet on her bed and made her way to the showers. This was the first shower she was able to stand in, let alone bathe in. The other ones she had just sat, letting the warm water hit her back. But not this one. This felt as though it was helping wash away the darkness that had overcome her. She knew all of it wouldn't wash away so easy but she was ready to face it. She was ready to battle her demons.

Desiree walked back to her room to put her robes on. She sat on her bed for a few minutes contemplating whether she was ready to go outside of the comfort of her room. She then realized that if she didn't get out now she never would. She would fall back into the abyss. So, she put her charm bracelet on as well as the bracelet Cedric had given her for Christmas and grabbed the blanket before walking out of her room. 

Desiree walked through the castle at her own pace. The halls were empty. She realized exams must be going on. Dumbledore had been kind enough to excuse her from exams this year. She walked peacefully through the halls. She knew it would be hard enough to do it on her own however the cautious eyes of others would have made it worse. She walked all the way to the edge of the Black Lake. Though the warm air kissed her cheeks she wrapped the blanket around her small body. And she sat. She sat remembering who Cedric was, how he was, and what he was to everyone. She didn't know how long she sat there. She only knew she felt comforted looking at the Sun's rays bounce off of the lake and occasionally hit the small citrine heart.

"Desiree," Harry walked to her side and sat down. She hadn't even noticed he walked over to her.

"Oh, hi Harry," she wiped tears off her face she hadn't realized were falling.

"How are you today?" his tone was timid yet caring.

"Well I got out of my bed," she chuckled while wiping another tear from her cheek.

"That's something," Harry slightly smiled as he looked to the water. "Listen, I wanted to tell you something. Well I guess Cedric wanted me to tell you something."

Desiree quickly turned her head to him, "What?"

"That night in the graveyard," he paused. "When I saw my parents, I also saw him. He asked me to take his body to his father. But after he made me promise that I would tell you this."

"Tell me what?" she asked.

"He wants you to be happy," Harry looked to her. "He doesn't want you to slip into a pit of despair. He wants you to live. He wants you to continue on for him. He wants you to move on. Desiree he just wants you to be happy."

Desiree could feel tears streaming down her face. They weren't tears of guilt or the tears of losing him. They were tears of remembering him the way he was. The light he left on the world. "You know, in a way he told me that."

"What?" asked Harry.

"Last night after my nightmare. After I fell back asleep I had a dream. I was in a field of wildflowers, maybe a meadow, and he was there at the other end. He never spoke but he said all the words he needed to in his actions. He showed me that he'd always be with me. He showed me it was okay to go on. He wanted me to move on. And then when I woke up this morning and walked to my trunk the charm he gave me was shining in the sun. Because somehow the sun managed to shine through the water. I knew my dream wasn't just a dream," she stayed gazing at the light hitting the water.

"Leave it to Cedric to somehow find a way to communicate in the after life," Harry slightly chuckled.

"Yeah," she chuckled.

"There's a meeting in the Great Hall in about an hour. Why don't you come? I think it would be good for you," said Harry as he stood up.

"I'll think about it," she looked up to him.

"I'll see you there," he gently patted her shoulder and walked back towards the castle. And so Desiree sat alone again. She gazed at the water for a bit until she decided she would go to the meeting. She slowly began walking towards the castle. Eyes fell on her as she passed some students. She hated it but she knew it was going to happen. Just as she entered the Great Hall everyone's eyes fell on her. All of the quiet murmurs went silent. Everyone watch as she began walking towards the front of the hall where Draco, Pansy, and Blaise sat. It was hard for her to fight back tears as they looked to her as though she were some animal in the zoo.

"Oh, Ally," Draco took her in his arms. He could tell she was on the verge of tears. "What's wrong with you people? Don't you have anything better to do?" he called out to them. "Are you alright?" he asked in a quieter time.

"I'm better than I was yesterday. I'm ready to fight it," she looked up to him.

"That makes all the difference in the world," said Draco as they say down; waiting for Dumbledore to begin his speech.

The hall grew quiet again as he spoke. "Today, we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory was, as you all know exceptionally hard-working, infinitely fair-minded, and most importantly a fierce, fierce friend. Now, I think, therefore, you have the right to know exactly how he died," Dumbledore paused. "You see Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort! The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this. But not to do so, I think, would be an insult to his memory. Now, the pain we all feel at this dreadful loss reminds me and reminds us that while we may come from different places and speak in different tongues our hearts beat as one. In light of recent events the bonds of friendship we've made this year will be more important than ever. Remember that, and Cedric Diggory will not have died in vain. You remember that and we'll celebrate a boy who was kind and honest and brave and true, right to the very end."

Desiree hated crying in front of other people but she couldn't help it. Tears silently fell down her cheeks throughout Dumbledore's speech. It was hard but she knew she was going to be alright. She was feeling again. And with Draco's reassuring hand grasping hers she knew all the more. Everything was going to be alright.