I'm Sorry

1.6K 41 205
                                    

Hey this was a suggestion from Lulbabyfacee13

Thank you do much for the suggestion! ☺️ I hope you enjoy ❤️

Bucky didn't deserve it.

As he sat beside Sam on the bed, he couldn't help but feel disgusted at himself.

He didn't deserve his love.

Sam told him he loved him. He repeated it everyday they were together.

'Love you, Buck'
'I love you so much!'
'Night, Bucky. I love you'
'How is it possible to love you this much?!'
'I love your smile'
'I love your eyes'
'I love you'

But Bucky hadn't believed it.

He hadn't believed it when he had made the decision to go. He hadn't believed it when he had kissed him. He hadn't believed it.

He had done the unthinkable. Betrayed Sam.

He had cheated.

Looking at Sam was impossible now. He didn't dare touch him as Sam would sense what had happened and not want him.

As soon as Bucky had done it- cheated on Sam he knew. Sam loved him. He would never treat Bucky as badly as he had to Sam.

But it was too late.

Sam turned to Bucky smiling and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. Bucky flinched as he touched him but let it happen.

He couldn't do this.

'Hey, Bucky. Do you want to go out for dinner tomorrow or stay home?'

Bucky closed his eyes.

'Hey I'm Luke. What's your name?'

The name didn't matter. The person didn't either. It was just what Bucky had done with them.

Bucky froze and turned to the newcomer. He hadn't expected someone else to come to this bar.

He only came here when he felt like drowning. Sadly alcohol had no effect on the super soldier.

Which made it worse.

'I'm Jam-Bucky. I'm Bucky'

The man smiled, holding his hand out. Bucky took it and shook it, feeling strange.

'It's nice to meet you. I just saw you across the bar and...'

Luke leaned closer and whispered.

'I couldn't believe how hot you are'

Bucky's mouth dropped open and his cheeks burned. This wasn't right. He had Sam. He loved Sam.

But...

His insecurities had been affecting him for awhile and being around Sam was making them worse.

Sam was perfect and Bucky didn't think he deserved him. He didn't believe he could love someone like Bucky, no matter how many times he said he did.

Bucky was a killer. A mistake. A danger to society. He didn't deserve anything from Sam.

But he was looking for some form of comfort without the guilt so he let Luke kiss him and bring him back to his apartment.

Afterwards he realised.

Sam loved him.

And he had lost the best thing he had ever had.

'I cheated'

Sam stopped from making dinner plans and looked at Bucky. He looked as if he hadn't realised what he had said. His eyes widened and a worried look was making its way onto his face.

'What did you say?'
'I cheated. I cheated on you'

It hurt Bucky to say it but it would hurt them both more if he didn't.

Sam's eyes were slowly filling with tears. It felt like Bucky's heart was being wrenched in two when Sam began to speak in a shaky, confused voice.

'W-Why?'

His eyes were overflowing with tears and he was standing up, moving as far away from Bucky as possible.

Bucky wished he could do the same to himself. He was disgusting.

'I-I don't know'
'Yes you do. Why?'

Sam's face was completely numb. He could barely look at Bucky.

'I... I don't deserve this relationship. I just can't. So...'
'What'

Bucky took a deep breath.

'I wanted someone. But then I realised it was you. I'm so sorry, Sam. I should have never done tha-'
'You know what? I don't care. There's nothing you can say that will change this'

Bucky put his head down as Sam raised his voice.

'You betrayed me. My trust. How can you expect me to trust you now?'
'I-'
'How Bucky!?'

Sam's voice shook as he got angrier and angrier.

'You...I thought you actually loved me!'

His voice broke and he sat down on the ground, crying.

Bucky's heart broke. How could he have done such a thing to such a perfect person? He didn't deserve love. He didn't deserve affection.

He didn't deserve Sam Wilson.

'Sam... I'm so sorry'

Sam just cried. Bucky wanted to comfort him, make him feel better but he knew it would just make things worse.

'I...We have to break up'

Bucky had known this was coming but he was still devastated when he heard the words leave Sam's mouth. He just nodded and began to walk out of the room.

'I'm so sorry, Sam. I never deserved you'

As he left, he let the tears fall that he had been holding the whole time.

He was disgusting.

Thank you so much for reading! Sorry its rushed. I hope you enjoyed it though ☺

Feel free to comment suggestions or feedback!  (People who have suggested already, don't worry I'm typing them at the moment)

Stay safe :)

Sambucky one shots (Requests?)Where stories live. Discover now