Jungkook's Love • JJK

Sixty One

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"The World is Ugly" By My Chemical Romance

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"Their hearts don't beat like ours"

"But you'll never fight alone, cause I wanted you to know, that the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me"

"These are the words but the words aren't coming out, they burn cause they are hard to say"

"I would say I'm sorry though I really need to go"

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When you were sure Jungkook was sleeping you incrementally detached yourself from his arms. By the time you were standing on the side of the bed you were almost out of breath from wiggling away from his tight hold. You slipped into his bathroom and waited for a couple minutes in case he woke and wondered where you'd gone.

Your heart felt too heavy to carry, his words sticking with you in the worst way. He'd said them with conviction, his own ears hearing reassurance. The problem was everything changed after you saw that video, and now you needed him to not care about what had happened in the past.

"I believed you, I helped you because, Choram, set up" His words bounced through your head and rolled the acid in your stomach.

You finally slipped from his bathroom and headed for the bedroom door swiping your cell phone off the bedside table. The door wasn't even closed so entering the hallway and heading toward the kitchen was easy and without incident. You didn't know what you were doing, it wasn't like you could pack your things and run in the dead of night. You were creating space, in your head, your heart, for the ground work it was going to take to actually walk away from him.

You passed through the kitchen silently, trying not to picture how just last night you'd eaten at the counter, hair still wet from a shower. You could recall how you'd laughed and joked with Jungkook about his opinion on pork versus steak and he'd promised to let you meet Tae and Hobi when things were calmer. How could one single diasterous night change your opinion on everything?

You found yourself in the guest bedroom, your make shift closet, and sat on the floor head leaned against the bed. What were your options right now? Not many with someone needing to be responsible for you another six months. Yesterday morning you would have laughed at that notion, haven't even Jungkook said you were in charge of yourself? But was that wise?

Why couldn't you remember doing it? You looked down at your phone and when you tapped the screen it lit up displaying the time, one in the morning. You unlocked it and scrolled through your contacts until Dr Kang's number was in front of you. Hadn't she said if you were having an emergency to call? Hadn't she promised that you could count on her and you should call if you needed her?