Jungkook's Love • JJK

Eighty Three

You were shocked when the admin told you that Jungkook had returned with his mother. You'd not counted on him caving in so quickly, but maybe that was better. Like ripping off a bandaid everything could be done today and then you wouldn't have to see him again.

Because seeing him had taken more of a toll on you than you'd even known. Back in your room you couldn't stop picturing how sweetly he'd touched you, how his eyes had lit up looking at your bump, the cute surprise on his face feeling your son's jerky movements. You wanted it to keep being like that, you'd been so stupid to walk away.

You missed everything about Jungkook. Seeing him had brought the emotions to the surface so viscerally that it had felt like suffocating. Finding out that he wasn't doing well, that he missed you too had made everything worse. All along you'd thought finding out he was over you or had moved on would be searing pain, that was wrong. Knowing he wanted you was the real ache because you couldn't have him. 

Dr Choi had once asked you why you couldn't let Jungkook love you. There was no easy answer back then, but now, with the endless love you already felt for your baby, you wished you'd tried harder. If you'd stayed maybe the initial pain of everything that happened would have dulled. You knew he would have fought to win back your trust, and you'd not even waited to see if it was possible. But you'd needed to get out before you found out he was giving up on you first.

Then everything else had happened so quickly. When you'd gotten the news that you were pregnant panic kicked in. Not only for the fact that you had no clue how you'd be a mother, but because bringing any innocent baby into your family was impossible. Your stepfather's words about the two of you finding a way to get the money from Jungkook blared into your head a resounding alarm.

Like an unplanned pregnancy scandal wouldn't be the most perfect strategy of all? He'd have seen it as delectable kismet dropped straight into his lap, endless dollar signs, well beyond whatever money they felt Jungkook actually owed. You couldn't let that happen, not to Jungkook and absolutely never to your child. Any chance at a future they had would be ruined by your stepfather. Using this baby as a game of tug of war between the media, Jungkook, probably even Hybe had made you certain there were no lengths you wouldn't go to prevent it.

You'd gone straight to Dr Choi, told her you'd found out you were pregnant and had tried to take your life. You'd woken up and regretted it but didn't trust that the hopelessness of your situation wouldn't cause you to try again. She'd rushed you to the hospital where they'd held you for several days. During that time you'd decided the only course of action was to hide the baby until you turned twenty five and could make your stepfather rich enough to leave you alone.

Dr Choi had insisted you tell Jungkook, give him options, let him help you. You'd vetoed the suggestion implicitly. You showing up pregnant or Jungkook having a baby in his apartment would get out, it couldn't be contained. You needed more distance than that.

It had been Dr Choi's idea to send you to Busan Regional, but the original plan had not come to fruition like she'd proposed. You were supposed to go through two months of treatment, then reach out to Jungkook's family. She hoped his mother would take you in and you'd live there, supervised until you were ready to care for your child alone. She thought it would give Jungkook and his family access to the baby, support for you, and some privacy for all of you away from Seoul.

The first issue arose when your doctor literally laughed at you when you had told them the baby was Jungkook's. His head had tilted back and the deep belly laugh that came next was unprofessional and insulting. No matter how you tried to convince him he insisted you were having delusions of grandeur at best, obsessive behavior at worst. Had you not been pregnant they would have drugged those notions right out of you.