I hate to admit

The three of us

"Ah there's our prince." I turned around to see Minho setting up for dance class, while Felix was...well having issues with his appearance?

Felix was our little angel, and he was always self-conscious about himself, always checking how he looked or if he had gained too much weight. We were trying to break him of this, but it was hard, the only thing that kept him sane was dancing.

Minho was our leader and a damn good one at that, he cherished us and took care of us, but he was also a hard ass when he needed to be. Dancing also kept him sane, also like Felix was self-conscious about himself but not of weight...about his scars.

And here I am, right along with them but I didn't give a damn about my appearance or my weight. My emotional state was where it was at, I'm broken and damaged. However, I found where I belong now, with Minho and Felix.

We are the top dance group here in Seoul, we help teach others and we appear in anything related to music and dance. Celebrities are always at our doors among other artists. Hell, we even have voices so just another thing added to our resume. So, among our dancing skills we have been featured on several artists tracks and so on.

Felix has the sweetest face but the voice of a devil. Don't let either fool you though, he can sing the sweetest notes. Minho on the other hand has been dancing the longest out of all of us but his raw vocals are even more amazing. 

Me, well I can rap but I also have the voice to sing, and I also took the longest to regain my strength to dance.

"Yes, I'm here Minho, and Felix stop fucking looking at yourself. You're an angel." I smiled. "But I think my cheeks are chubby, even more than yesterday." Felix whined.

I walked over to him and stood behind him in the mirror. "Felix baby, you are beautiful okay. I know it's taking you longer to accept yourself but please try for us. We are family here, all of us and we love you." I placed my hands on his shoulders, and he turned around looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Great now you made him cry." Minho groaned. "No, it's okay, sometimes I still feel like I'm alone but then I realize I have the both of you." Felix wrapped his little arms around me.

Yes, you have both me and Minho, we all have each other. We found one another in the darkest of times, where our lives were thought lost but in reality, we just needed someone.

All three of us own this dance studio and we added a recording studio as well, Minho however had a majority of the money as he inherited from his grandparents. They knew the trouble he went through and as much as they wanted to help him be free of his abusive father their hands were tired. However, he knew his grandparents loved him and he never blamed them, he was surprised he had gained everything from them when they passed.

Minho had opened this on his own and when he was looking for other dancers, my life was saved. Dancing had been my dream, but it was shattered as I never thought I would be able to dance again. Even the doctors said it was not likely after my surgery, but I proved them wrong, and Minho helped.

Felix was the last to join, Minho had found him at a local dance studio. It was clear that he had troubles and was going to therapy, but Minho somehow convinced him to join us, and I helped in every way I could. Always with words of encouragement and even in his darkest moments, catching him eating nonstop only to throw it all up later. But I was there for him, Minho was there for him. When Felix is dancing then he forgets about everything and what seems to be his normal self that we never got to see before we met him, before his...habits.

After only a short time with us Minho had decided to give us part of the studio, we then eventually started to pick up with students and even artists, groups and so on. We became the best studio in the country and shortly after we opened up a recording studio in the basement, had it redone and finished to suit. All of us record there and then sent our demos or parts of songs to the artists and producers where needed.

We tried to keep things at a minimum as to not exhaust ourselves so whenever we were full or couldn't handle anymore, we had to decline offers.

"Come now the group should be coming. You good Lix?" Minho asked. "Y-yeah I'm fine, sorry just being another mental case again." Felix wiped his eyes. "We are all mental cases Lix, come on let's make another group proud!"

Minho went to set up the music and shortly after the group showed up, for the past week or so we have been choreographing for TXT. One of my favorite groups, they have a new upcoming album and they had wanted us to choreograph their upcoming MV. Minho had the last say in what we could handle or take on and he had agreed to this but right now we are fully booked.

You might think we are burnt out with dancing, teaching, choreographing, singing etc. but in reality, it's what makes us feel alive. But we know our limits.

"Wow, you guys' thanks for this amazing opportunity. You have no idea how much this means to us; we definitely wouldn't mind adding you on some of our songs next time!" Soobin beamed.

"Thanks, it really means a lot, and our boy Hyunjin here is a big fan. So please if you need anything, Hyunjin would be a great addition to any song or even back up dancer." Minho smiled. "We have no doubt about it! Until next time, thank you so much again." Soobin shook Minho's hand.

I watched them start to walk out but Yeonjun quickly turned around and handed me their new album which wasn't even out yet. "Here, for you. It's signed by all of us, Soobin was weary of giving this to you, but he didn't care of the consequences." Yeonjun handed me their album.

As I took it from him, he then walked off, I was beyond thrilled right now. But why me?

"I know that look Jinnie. I asked them too, just for you. I know you are a big fan. Besides Yeonjun really likes your dancing style." Minho came up to me and placed his hand over mine.

"Alright I'll leave you lovebirds at it, I'm going back to the house." Felix rolled his eyes as he grabbed his stuff and left.

"How many times do I have to tell him we ain't together." I sighed and turned around to grab my bag. I placed the album in my bag, was so going to listen to it on replay when I get home.

"Hyunjin, come on. You know how I feel." Minho spoke softly. I stood back up and faced him, it's true that Minho has confessed to me numerous times and each time I declined. He has always been so calm and never forced me.

"Min, you know I can't. It would ruin everything not to mention it could ruin this whole thing." I motioned my arms around the studio. "Why won't you give me a chance." Minho reached out to gently caress my cheek and then cupped my face in his hands.

Why?

Because love is so fucking cruel.

"Minho...it's hard for me and you know that." I whispered. "But I don't know, not really anyways. You can never bring yourself to tell me." Minho pressed his forehead against mine. "And yet you never let me see you, always covered up. I know you were treated badly as a kid and even into your teens, but that's all you'll ever tell me." "Some things are just too hard to speak of."

Yes, they are and that's one of the reasons. The only one of us that speaks freely of his past is Felix. He had no one to talk to, his family disowned him after he came out, they didn't care of his eating habits or other problems but being gay was the worst.

Felix took it upon himself to get help or tried to anyways, and when we found him, it changed. He was free and open with us, and it was nice. He knew not to bother us of our troubles and sometimes I wish I could talk about it all, about everything.

"Let's just go home Minho." I walked away grabbing my bag and out the door.