How many bad things can happen in one's life until things start to look up?
I wish I knew the answer.
It's been a year since the hate, the fans, the comments, the negativity and fucking everything.
It's been a year since I've talked to or seen Minho.
A year since I've seen Felix.
A year since I've had any association with 3racha as a group.
It's been 6 months since I last talked to or seen Jisung.
It's been a year since I've completely ignored Chan.
Funny enough Chan was the only person to try and reach out to me, and I say funny because he never really defended me per say in the whole ordeal, but he also didn't talk bad about me.
I could understand if he didn't want to get into the details and have our relationship put in the spotlight and I'm glad nothing serious got out but at the same time I wish Chan would have just outright told everyone about our past relationship.
The good, the bad, the toxicity of it all.
I didn't want to paint Chan as the bad guy totally but at the same time maybe everyone should know who Chan used to be.
They knew he went out, got drunk, got high, had hook ups and they didn't even blink an eye at that shit. If only they knew how mentally and emotionally, verbally abusive he was to me and if they knew that he put me in a damn hospital would they blink an eye then?
I wish I knew the answer to that.
I wish I knew what was going on out there in the world.
I wish I knew how everyone was doing.
I wish I knew why no one has come to see me.
I wish I knew if Minho still loved me.
I wish I knew...
I guess these white walls won't let me know anytime soon. Each day it seems like the white walls keep closing in on me, the room gets smaller and smaller by the day.
Everything blends together now, white sheets, white pillowcase, white slippers, white shirt and pants, white bracelet.
Where did everything go so wrong?
Why me?
Please don't hate me!
Was going for a very happy ending here and it was going to be soon, but I changed my mind!
I like to keep all you readers on your toes!
YOU ARE READING
I hate to admit
FanficNow a big time Rapper, Bang Chan has everything he ever wanted but he lost something while he was consumed by the fame. Or rather someone. Will his memories come to light again or has his fame just taken over? Hyunjin thought he could handle it all...
