I hate to admit

My visitor

"Hyunjin have a visitor."

A visitor?

In the two years I've been here I've never had a visitor, no mail, no phone calls...no nothing.

"I really am not in the mood for jokes today, Soobin." I huffed.

Soobin who has been my caretaker here in this hell hole for the past year, it was definitely a rocky start at first, but he was persistent. He reminded me of Minho in a way, he never gave up on me.

"No joke you dramatic ass, now go out to the garden. Your visitor is waiting outside for you." Soobin spoke before walking out of my room.

In the garden really?

It's...well not down pouring any more so I fucking guess.

I traded my slippers for my other shoes and made way out to the garden.

When I walked outside, I was immediately hit with cool air, and it felt good. I never went outside much, I cooped myself up in my room mostly.

The dark clouds overhang in the sky almost making it evening but it was 2 in the afternoon, there was a slight breeze, and I could feel the light mist on my arms.

I looked around and the garden was mostly empty I mean who would want to be outside in this weather anyways.

But I finally spotted my visitor.

Someone was sitting on the ground; a blanket was laid out and he was playing with a kitten who must have been a stray.

I would be lying if I didn't know who was sitting there, the blonde hair was so obvious.

I would also be lying if I wished it was someone else.

I walked over to the boy and stood there, the kitten was startled and jumped into the boys' arms.

"Shh it's okay leebit." The deep voice whispered. "It's just uncle Jinnie."

"Felix." I spoke.

Felix stood up and let the kitten go who just pounced onto the blanket and curled up into a ball.

"H-hyunjin." Felix's voice faltered.

Felix turned around, even after all these years he still looked the same but also even prettier.

He definitely filled out a bit, his soft brown eyes were big and held the world but also just by looking into them they held so much more...so much pain and emotion.

His freckles never changed, thank God to that.

His blonde hair still the same just a bit longer than what it was, he held himself with a sort of confidence, something that he used to lack.

"Your hair!" Was the first thing he shouted.

I couldn't help but smile.

"I thought silver suited me; besides it goes with my mood most of the time, it goes with the weather." As I pointed up to the sky.

I was a raven head; I was blonde then back to raven and now silver.

Silver was a muted color I guess and it's always gloomy here outside, inside, in my mind. Even though rain may be clear when it falls sometimes it shines in certain light.

There are times when the rain falls in between a partly cloudy day with the sun just barely peeking through.

"What are you doing here Felix?" I asked.

"I wanted to see you. I found out by accident that you were here, I know you must think I abandoned you." Felix lowered his head.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, Minho I could understand but not you." "Minho...I haven't heard from him in a long time Jinnie." "Do you not live with him still?" "I guess but he's never home and I'm always with Changbin."

So, they did stay together.

I'm glad, I'm happy for Felix.

"After all that happened, I just wanted to shut myself out of everything, I wanted my mind to turn off. I didn't want to hear or see any more hateful things about you. I didn't want to believe any of it, most of all the things they said about you...I couldn't bring myself to come to you and get the truth. I abandoned you Hyunjin." Felix explained.

Felix was always fragile and emotional; I couldn't blame him...not really.

Right now, I want to know where the fuck Minho was and why he wasn't around for Felix.

"Felix, I'm sure it was a lot for you to take in and you didn't need to be caught in the middle. I was hurt yeah, but somewhere inside I knew it was too much for you. I'm glad you at least had Chanbgin Lix." I brought my hand up and placed it under his chin, titling his face up so he was looking at me.

"I'm sorry Jinnie, it was supposed to be your time to shine and be in the spotlight for once. Your song was amazing and beautiful and despite everything you were the lead in that music video, back up dancer aside you played your part really well in that scene and the song collab alone we all did good, but you did better. I thought you were going places, I thought we were going places, but I never thought we would end up like this." Felix spoke.

I at least didn't think I would end up here.

"I know I should have found you a lot sooner and this is shitty of me for coming now, but something is going to happen tomorrow. Changbin told me some things and I think you should watch the dispatch channel tomorrow at 9am. It's something big Jinnie." Felix explained.

"I suppose you won't tell me?" "No, you have to watch it for yourself. I really did want to seek you out Hyunjin, but I was afraid." Felix turned to go sit down and picked up the kitten in his arms.

"This is Leebit, I brought him for you so you wouldn't be lonely even though I know they don't allow pets." Felix smiled.

I sat down next to him, and the kitten jumped on to me and I could hear him purring.

"He likes you." Felix smiled.

"I think we can make an arrangement for this little guy to stay with Hyunjin. We can make him his support therapy pet." I turned my head around to see Soobin standing right behind us.

"R-really!" Felix's eyes lit up.

"It is a thing you know, if Hyunjin wants to keep him then I don't see why not. And sorry for eavesdropping but I am Soobin, Hyunjin's primary caretaker." Soobin spoke.

"I'll keep him." I looked down at the kitten.

"Sorry to cut this short but Hyunjin has group therapy." Soobin took the kitten from me. "I'll make sure to get him settled in your room Hyunjin." "Oh! I brought all the things for Leebit, they're in my car. I mean I brought everything just in case." Felix shyly smiled.

Soobin just smiled and left; I would shortly have to follow.

Felix turned to me and smiled but I could tell that there was so much behind that smile and not just happiness.

"Tell me you'll watch it tomorrow?" Felix pleaded.

"I will, for you. Thank you for coming Lix, and don't beat yourself up so much okay. Also don't be a stranger." I cupped his cheek. "I'll come when I can, I won't ever leave you again Jinnie...I'm so sorry." Felix sniffled.

Felix was always an easy one for tears, I wiped them away and pulled him into a hug.

We stayed like that for a while before Felix reminded me, I had to go back inside, and he was going to go get Leebit's things from his car.

I still can't fucking believe Minho...why would he stay away, leave Felix alone?