I hate to admit

All over the place

I'm going to call this the first official day of the vacation and I want to go out and venture.

"Channie, can we go out?" I looked at Chan.

"Of course, Jinnie, I can show you a few places if you'd like." Chan smiled.

"Better be somewhere good and not one of your places you went to, to have fun either." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Don't worry baby, I'll show you some good places. I promise." "Yay! Then later we can go along with your guy's crazy plan." I turned over on my back.

Later tonight I'll see what these fools have planned for Minho and I but for now I just want to go out and explore London.

"How about Buckingham palace?" Chan hovered over.

"Um...I don't think you can-" "Please babe, I'm Bang fucking Chan. I've already been there; I can get us in."

Must be real fucking nice.

Rich bastard.

"Hmmm...I'll believe it when I see it." I rolled my eyes.

"Better get dressed then!" Chan grinned.

Chan got up and grabbed some clothes then went to the bathroom. 

I just laid there for a few minutes while waiting for Chan, I'm actually excited for today. I don't need to stay in with the others, I'm one for adventure considering what I've been through.

"All yours babe." Chan came out of the bathroom.

He grabbed clothes when he went in there, but he comes out with a damn towel wrapped around his waist and the water dripping down his body.

I sat up and glared at him.

"What? Not like it's nothing you've seen before." Chan smirked.

I got out of bed and shoved past him slamming the door shut.

Once I was done and dressed, I made my way downstairs, Chan had already gone down earlier.

"So going out you two?" Felix looked at me.

"Yeah, I wanted to go out, all of you losers can stay in." I chuckled.

"Jinnie!" I turned around to find Jisung.

"Hey Ji, what's up?" I smiled.

"Chan said you two were going out." "Yeah, I kind of made him, I didn't want to stay in." I shrugged. "Well, I talked to Chan, and he said I could join later." Jisung was now leaning into me and whispering in my ear.

I guess Jisung wants to spend some time with his boyfriend, understandable.

"Hope it's okay, might be a good chance to be with him for a bit." Jisung whispered. "No of course Sung, he's yours after all." I squeezed his shoulder.

I smiled at Jisung and then headed for the door.

Chan followed me.

Once we were outside and, in the car, Chan had rented which was delivered earl this morning we were on our way.

"So, you're going to meet up with Jisung later on our outing?" I asked.

"Yeah, hope that's alright, I miss him Jinnie. And I'm sorry this whole thing is fucked up, but I do love spending the time with you though. I know it's not ideal, I love Jisung but I love you too." Chan placed his hand on my thigh.

"I know Channie, it's alright honestly I just wanted to get out is all." I looked out the window.

For some reason I feel weird.... I hate Chan, but I love him too.

I guess call it jealousy?

God, I hope their fucking plan works.

"Channie! That was beautiful and amazing, I never doubted you." I stood outside of the palace.

Chan and I were standing outside after we just took a tour and a behind the scenes look of some areas that other people aren't privileged too and it was amazing.

We took so many pictures and talked to people. If I wouldn't have known any better, it feels like we were on a date and not a first date but a date where you've been together long enough, and you don't get much time to go out but the time you do and you go to some wonderful place and have fun.

Chan held my hand in his and his thumb was gently rubbing over my knuckles, any minute though Jisung will show up though.

Which I don't mind but then I'm going to feel like a fucking third wheel.

"Hyunjin, I'm sorry I never took you on many dates." Chan kissed me on the cheek.

"Don't Chan. Let's not ruin this okay and soon enough you can go take your boyfriend on one, I'll go find something to do or whatever. Speaking of he should be here soon; I'll get going then." I spoke.

I had turned around and started to walk away but Chan had caught my arm and stopped me.

"Hyunjin, you don't have to leave." Chan spoke.

"Yes, I do, I know you and Jisung haven't gotten much time together so this is perfect for you and you guys can be alone." I smiled.

"Don't hide behind your smile Hyunjin, I know you better than that." Chan replied.

I looked behind Chan and saw Jisung walking our way as happy as could be.

"He's all yours Sungie." I smiled.

I pulled my arm free, turned back around and started walking away.

I hope they have, and they honestly deserve it.

I have no right to feel anything.

God, I miss Minho, I don't know why he had to be such an ass after losing his memory. Like how am I not his fucking type?

I'm fucking amazing!

I have to tell myself something in order to not let my mind wander towards the dark places. That's the last thing I needed.