I hate to admit

You have this way about you

After eating Jisung kind of left me alone but he always stayed near me, I wasn't annoyed by it or anything as much as I hated him hurting Felix, he was indeed my saving grace right now.

No one knew where I was expect for Felix and I'm actually kind of glad about that.

Jisung had said Felix was a sobbing mess over the phone and that he was glad I was with Jisung at least. Apparently, Felix told Jisung to tell me that everything was okay and not to scold Jisung too much about their breakup, and that they would still be friends.

Always Felix getting in the middle of things and always trying to make a good situation out of a bad one. Knowing him as much as he 'hates' Chan I'm sure he would have come up with a good explanation for Chan's behavior.

As much as the storm was raging on outside, I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep, Jisung had turned the tv and we sat in silence for a bit with the only sound coming from the tv and the storm outside.

I didn't like it though.

"Hey Ji?" I turned towards Jisung.

"Yeah?" Jisung replied.

"Will you help me with something?" "Of course! Just name it." "The song I was singing earlier, you think you could help me with it?"

I was never one to express myself very well, I had a notebook I kept to myself where I wrote down all my feelings and some I had even written in the form of songs.

It was hard enough telling Minho about my past let alone telling him about my own feelings for him. Minho never judged me though and never rushed me, I'm sure he would have told me every day until I died that he loved me if I hadn't of returned his feelings.

"Really!?" Jisung squealed.

"Um, yes?" I gave him a look.

"Oh, uh sorry it's just Chan usually did all the song writing and producing, Changbin was the second and I came in third in that department." Jisung explained.

"Well now is your chance, help me produce this song and I will even let you put your name in the credits." I smiled. "I don't deserve that Hyunjin." "Of course you do, everything is all good now and if you're helping me with this it's only fair that you get mentioned."

Jisung stood up suddenly and grabbed me by the hand dragging me down the hall, I didn't think his apartment was big enough to hold any sort of equipment needed to record a song, but he proved me wrong.

I mean I guess I only saw the living room, kitchen and his bedroom, so I guess, but down the hall towards the end he opened up a door and dragged me inside.

Definitely exceeded my expectations, it was a decent sized room just big enough for a personal studio, it had a small recording booth, and, on the outside, it had the setup to play with the sound and what not among other things. He had a keyboard in the corner along with some guitars and sheets of music scattered about.

"Okay, so I think I got the melody a bit from when you were humming. Why don't you go in the booth and let's have some fun with it!" Jisung smiled.

I myself couldn't help but smile, as many emotions that are running around inside of me, I think this is what I need right now. Letting my feelings out in the form of a song.

That's how Chan's were most of the time.

He always put his own feelings and personal experiences into his songs, from his childhood and the troubles he encountered to his relationships with people. A lot of his songs were when he was with me though, the good and the bad. He even had one song where he went out and fucked someone saying they had a 'connection' and made a fucking song about that.