I hate to admit

The news

After group therapy I went back to my room and played with little Leebit, God he was so adorable and kind of reminded me of Minho in a way.

"Hey, therapy went good today." Soobin spoke from the doorway.

"You know I just try and say what everyone wants to hear you know that right." I deadpanned. 

"Well, you do a damn good job of it. Hopefully this cutie here can cheer you up a bit." Soobin chuckled. "Yeah...oh by the way I need to watch the tv at 9 tomorrow morning, I guess there's something I need to see." "I'll make sure your breakfast is waiting for you in the drawing room then at 9am sharp." "Thanks." I smiled.

I looked down at Leebit who was as happy as could be, he was busy chewing on my fingers.

"Make sure to take care of him ya know, it took me a bit to pull some strings." Soobin glared at me.

"Don't worry, I will take care and clean after him. Thank you by the way." I smiled. "So... your visitor?" "Old friend or seemed like it anyways, but no he is my family in a sense." "He's part of the group you were in." "So, you do your research huh?" "I am going to be taking care of you for as long as you're in here so I might as well dig some dirt up on you." Soobin chuckled.

Soobin came over and sat down next to me, it was nearing bedtime or curfew as they call it. Soobin started playing with Leebit but he started scratching him and it was funny.

"Looks like he doesn't like you." I laughed.

"You going to tell me what's so important you need to watch tomorrow?" He asked.

"I actually have no idea, Felix just told me I had to. I guess some stuff was going on while I've been in here, and nothing good either." I replied. "Well, I may not know everything about you Hyunjin, but you have gone through some shit I can see that.  I've been taking care of you for quite some time now, you know it does help to open up to people." Soobin spoke.

Soobin has been great to me and not just my caretake but he's like a friend of sorts, but it doesn't mean he needs to know my fucking life story.

"I'm here if you need me, but for now get some sleep okay." Soobin stood up and walked towards the door.

"Join me for breakfast then." I spoke before he left.

"Jisung...I think I'm going to leave." I spoke.

"To where? You have nowhere to go Hyunjin no offense." Jisung replied in disbelief.

"I was sitting in Jisung's apartment on the couch where I've been staying since everything happened. He's been kind enough to let me stay here even though I know it's taking a toll on him.

It's like he's caught in the crossfire, my life, my problems have gotten in the way and it's ruining everyone around me.

"I'm going to commit myself." I spoke.

"Hyunjin...no you don't need to-" "Yes I do Jisung, everyone is suffering around me and it's all because of my past relationship with Chan. And I don't want anyone to know, this is the last thing I ask for Ji. Help me." "You know everything can get better; you don't need to commit yourself." "Just please Jisung help me. You can be rid of me; you can go back to everything."

Even if Jisung wasn't going to help me I was still going to go and commit myself. It's something that needed done.

"But after I do Jisung, I need you to not contact me again. I don't want anyone to know where I am."

"It's your life Jinnie, and I'll respect it."

Jisung was the only person who I had any sort of relationship with after everything and I was the one who ended things. He helped me and watched out for me, and I am beyond grateful for that but in the end, I didn't want anyone else getting hurt because of me.