I hate to admit

Mix of emotions

"No fucking way! Are you fucking serious right now?" I heard Minho yell from the side.

Chan and I just did a run through of our scene before we actually shot it, Minho was furious, and Felix had a mix of shock and a hint of excitement with a side of disappointment. Jisung on the other hand looked disgusted yet surprised and Changbin was cheering for us.

"Hyunjin! You were amazing." Felix ran up to me.

"Thanks, Lix glad someone thinks I was good." I smiled. 

"You were good Hyunjin, your dance was flawless." Jisung spoke up.

"You're not doing that for the video." Minho growled.

"Minho, I told you how this was going to go, and you can't tell me what to do and what not to do. I gave you a warning and you said it was okay." I replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to hair and makeup."

I gave Minho one last look and walked off, Minho was definitely glaring me down and I heard Chan snicker in the background.

I knew this wasn't going to go smoothly and Minho would have some issues with the whole thing, but we talked this over and he said everything would be okay. We both knew how Chan is and this was going to go Chan's way.

As much as I hate everything about Chan and being this close to him, I'm actually enjoying myself, I love dancing and I'm glad I was able to get back into it. I had a fear that I never would step foot on a dance floor again or in a studio, for a while now it has been just me, Minho and Felix. As great as that is dancing with them as a group and helping with other artists and what not but doing this part, this scene by myself feels good.

I wish with everything that it wasn't Chan, but it is what it is and I'm not going to back down now. Minho can deal with it, after we shoot this scene then it's done and over with and I won't have to be that personal with him again. I'll finish out being the backup dancer and then it's all over.

We go on to doing our song collab with them and done.

Back in the dressing room I had gotten my hair and makeup done and then it was just changing my outfit. Chan was probably getting everything done as well.

I heard a knock on the door, and I said come in.

To my surprise it was Chan, I wished it would have been Minho but whatever.

"What do you want Chan?" I growled.

"Minho left." Chan spoke.

Of course he did, I guess he didn't want to see the final product.

"Right well the sooner we get this done the faster I can go home to him and try and calm him down." I replied. "You know you don't have to explain yourself to him. I assume you had already told him about the whole thing." "We talked about it after the first practice session, and I explained the concept of the scene but apparently seeing it for himself was different."

You would have thought that Minho would have expected this outcome but yet he still hated it just as much. I told him it was a bit sensual and personal; I know he has some right to get angry but at the same time he doesn't.

"No matter what you were great out there, everyone else seemed to applaud it despite some lingering issues with Jisung and what not." Chan spoke.

"As much as I hate to say it your vocals never cease to amaze me, I forgot how beautiful your range was." I looked away from Chan.

It's true though Chan used to sing me to sleep sometimes, it always soothed me. Thats why he became what he is today, that's why his fame grew. 

That's why he took it all to his head.

"Also, a big part of the reason why our relationship didn't work. It was all because of my talent, you dropped everything for me, you helped me grow, you loved me, you supported me, but in the end, you hated me." Chan walked over to me.

"I hate you even now, you're still the big shot you are but along the way you found two people who helped you grow even more, who became your family. You're still an asshole, but I think Changbin gets after you and Jisung helps you see things clearly." I looked up at him.

We stood there for what felt like ages, Chan looked at me the way he used to. He saw me as that dancer who didn't have a care in the world, he looked at me as if I was his anchor.

At the beginning we kept each other at bay, I held him to me, but I wasn't weighing him down not at first. He had once told me that I was the only thing keeping him tied to his love of music, besides my dancing I had my own passion for music, and it was something we shared.

Later on, however I slowly lost that, Chan began calling me a burden and I was nothing but deadweight to him.

"Don't look at me like that Chan." I spat.

"I'm only looking at you like I should have all those years we were together. I never should have seen you as a burden or an annoyance, instead I should have looked at you like you were my whole fucking world and more." Chan replied.

Chan kept taking steps closer to me until I was pinned between him and the vanity table.

I want to break away and leave, I want to get this thing over with and go back home to Minho. Instead, I'm frozen in place reliving the blissful yet painful memories of us, we had moments just like this where he would have me under his grasp and he would hold me, kiss me. Other times he would get close and yell in my face, he'd get angry and start throwing things around.

"Hyunjin..." Chan whispered.

"We should get back out there and do the shoot; they are pry waiting for us." I spoke up.

"It's too bad Minho is going to miss out on the scene." Chan whispered in my ear.

Chan pulled back and he had a smirk on his face.