I hate to admit

Don't be anyone else

When we arrived on the second floor, I was immediately engulfed in a hug.

I looked down at the small figure, Felix buried his face into my chest. I was quick to wrap my own arms around him and I watched Jisung come over to Chan.

"You're here, looks like you have a shadow." Jisung spoke.

The girl was standing behind Chan, and she was definitely being shy now, I can only imagine what it feels like to be in the presence of all 3racha members.

"Yeah, she brought us up here, the nurse at the front desk was of no use and I know Hyunjin was getting anxious." Chan spoke. "Hey why don't you go to your family; we will be here for a while so come find us later and I'll give you that autograph yeah?"

The girl nodded her head and then ran off.

"Please tell us you guys know something?" Chan spoke as he walked over to me.

Felix detached himself from me and went back over to his boyfriend who put an arm around him protectively.

"No nothing yet, we asked one of the doctors to keep us updated and we gave a description of Minho. They said there were a lot of people involved in the accident so it would take some time." Jisung spoke.

I wanted to actually throw up right now, I felt sick.

No matter what the fuck happened over the years and where I was, where Minho was, I would never wish anything bad to happen to him.

My life is so fucked up and I wouldn't want to be involved with my shitty life either, even if I was hurt that no one really stuck by myside and most importantly Minho I still love him regardless.

Everything just got out of hand so fast and everything blew up, I can't even be mad at Chan right  now.

He eventually made things right in the end, he has shown me that fame no longer really matters to him. He basically took a hit for me; he came to me because he wanted me to know what was going on because it was Minho.

He knows I love Minho; he knew Felix was in no shape and he needed his boyfriend and his friend to help him, so Chan made the decision to come to me and I made the decision to allow him to.

I went over and sat down in the waiting area; the place was a bit busy considering everything, but I found a small corner that was empty.

Changbin helped Felix over and both sat down, Chan came over to me and sat down while Jisung just stood back a bit.

I know Jisung and Chan are a thing, Jisung had told me as much and has told me that Chan still loves me. Jisung doesn't seem to be bothered by it and right now he is standing back giving Chan the chance to make up for everything, to help me, comfort me, be there for me which I am grateful for.

"He can't be gone right?" I mumbled.

"It's Minho, I don't think he's going to stray too far from you Jinnie. He's persistent, isn't he?" Chan looked at me.

I couldn't help but muster a small smile.

If I knew anything it was that Minho was strong and never gave up, but I still can't help but feel off still.

The one fatality can't be Minho, right?

That would be too cruel.

I don't know how much time went by, I watched as people came and go in a blur and the rain outside turned into an all-out raging storm.

Felix was fast asleep on Changbin's lap as Changbin was himself asleep, I'm genuinely happy Felix has someone and is happy even after everything.

Jisung was sitting across from me, and he was messing around on his laptop with headphones on, I didn't even know when he got that, or he just had it the whole time and I didn't notice.

I was too anxious to sleep or do anything, I constantly was moving my leg up and down.

I even got up and walked around or more like paced around the waiting area, I got up and walked over to the wall of windows that overlooked the city basically.

It was night out now; everything was blurry from the rain and each time lightning lit up the sky and thunder followed I flinched.

You think I'd be used to it by now but to be honest I wasn't.

I had my arms wrapped around myself, the lights overhead were flickering constantly from the storm outside. I'm surprised we haven't had some power outage yet even though I'm sure the hospital would have their backup generators.

"Hey." I heard Chan's voice from behind.

Chan stood behind me and he place his chin on my shoulder and leaned into me.

"Don't you think your boyfriend will get jealous." I spoke.

"No, I don't, he knows I'm loyal to him and Jisung also knows my feelings for you Jinnie. He also told me to be there for you, I know I was a major asshole, and it will never make up for it but I'm trying now."

I turned so I could see Chan, I could tell he was putting in an effort, but it still doesn't make up for a lot of shit.

"I still remember our little night, Chan; I know our feelings will never 100% go away. I fucking hate you and I fucking love you, there is no in between but you know we were never good together and I just hope you and Jisung can be what we never were. Jisung is a bitch for you, and it seems like you're a bitch for me. In the end though I'm glad you found someone." I smiled.

Chan returned the smile and brought his hand up to cup my cheek.

"Everything will be okay Jinnie, one day we will overcome everything, and I hope we can all be good friends. You and I however will never just be friends, we will be enemies, ex-lovers, family and whatever in between. Minho is lucky to have you, and in one of these rooms he is there waiting for you to find him." Chan pecked me on the lips.

I shook my head, but I gave in and wrapped my arms around Chan who in turn did the same and held me tight.

"You're lucky Jisung isn't the real jealous type ya know, fuck you're lucky in general." I chuckled.

"I am lucky." Chan replied. "But so are you."

"I don't like this; can we go back to fighting." I pulled back and smirked looking at Chan.

Chan just laughed, "It does feel off, doesn't it?"

I let go and took a step back, I turned to look back outside, and nothing had changed.

"Excuse me but we have one person who matches the description you gave us, if you want to follow me." I heard one of the nurses talking.

I turned my head to see Jisung standing up.

Chan and I quickly walked over to them, Chan was going to wake Felix and Changbin up, but Jisung stopped him.

"Let Hyunjin go Chan." Jisung spoke.

I didn't hear anything else I quickly followed after the nurse, hoping to God it was Minho.