I hate to admit

Are we craze obsessed?

I woke up and Minho was clinging to me, I looked over at the window and it was still dark out. I picked up my phone from the nightstand and the bright screen was not my friend, but the time was just past 3 in the morning.

I was laying on my back and Minho was almost on top of me, he had taken a shower after me before we went to bed, and he had on another pair of sweats and this time no shirt. He has been getting more and more confident with me these days and I love it.

Minho has yet to still tell Felix about any of this, his past and his scars I mean so do I but some Felix has already overheard. However, it was just a snippet into my life.

Minho was sound asleep, so I tried to carefully slip out of bed without him noticing me being gone.

I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and closed the door. Taking a drink and letting the cold water slide down my throat felt good, screwing the lid back on and turning around I was startled.

Felix was standing there with messy hair and rubbing his eyes since he just woke up, "Jinnie?" Felix yawned.

"Hey my little angel." I spoke softly.

Felix walked over to me and practically let his body fall into mine and I was quick to wrap my arms around him.

"What's wrong Lix?" I asked.

"You weren't in your room, and Minho was sound asleep." "I got home late last night, and you were sound asleep, and Minho needed some time with me." "Oh... needed time with you." Felix chuckled.

I pushed Felix away so I could look at him, he was cute when he wakes up from sleep. I brushed his hair back out of his eyes and looked at him, he was looking up at me with those sleepy brown eyes. He looks up to me so much and I hate to let him down.

I took him by the hand and dragged him over to the couch in the living room.

"Felix...I know you overheard some stuff the other night and I know it's late right now, but you should know some things." I started.

"Jinnie, you don't have to tell me right now. I'm here whenever you're ready." Felix replied. "I know." 

"I won't go into many details, but I will tell you this. You know Chan and I were together years ago, we met when I was in high school. He pursued me and I eventually let him in, let him into my life. When we started going out it was great and amazing, Chan was sweet, and kind and he made me feel like I was everything. We started dating and we became serious fast, he was starting his music career, and it took off fast. I wanted to go with him wherever he went and that's when I dropped out of school, and we went off to live together. I was there to support him in his music and I kind of stopped dancing for my future and only did it for fun at that point. Things started to change real fast when he was getting noticed for his talent, he was picked up and started recording then his music took off and he became a global sensation almost overnight. I was there and supported him and helped him and the first few years were great." I started to explain.

I wasn't going to go into any important serious details because he didn't need to know the gory stuff as I would call it.

I can already tell he was ready to burst into tears and I hated that.

"But you were becoming an annoyance to him of sorts?" Felix spoke.

"I guess you could say that. He would be out all hours of the night and half the time I didn't know where he was. I know he had launch parties and promotions, he had talk shows and interviews all the time. His fan base was growing crazily and there were times when he completely forgot I existed. There was a point when he would come home drunk and not remember a damn thing the next morning, there was a time when I caught him with someone else. The first time I let it slide, but after that it got worse. I started to barely see him anymore, and when I did, we fought, sometimes we slept together, and I let it happen because I just wanted to feel his love again but then he basically discarded me like I was trash. I became a burden to him and only got in the way of his music, his fans started to make me out to be the bad guy like I was some craze obsessed boyfriend. Behind the scenes his fans didn't know shit about our relationship, but they took his side, he never physically hurt me, but it was always emotional and verbal abuse. The one night he shoved me though when we were fighting, I fell backwards into a table and some glass thing broke and fell to the floor and I with it."

Felix finally caved; his tears were all over the place. He was basically ugly crying right now but there was no such thing with him.

He was still cute as ever.

"Your leg, your dancing career was over..."

"It would have been if I wouldn't have pushed myself. I know you overheard Minho and I the other night, so you know what happened. I was in the hospital for a long time and right after I committed myself to an institution." I finished explaining.

Felix threw himself into me and sobbed like a big baby, I hated talking about my past but the more I have mentioned it the less it feels like I'm being pierced in the heart.

"It's okay Lix, really. I know you're a big fan of 3racha, so I didn't want to ruin their leader's image and despite your crush for Jisung I knew you liked Chan too because he was from Australia like you. I don't know what happened between you and Jisung but you can talk to me about it ya know. You were head over heels for him Lix and something happened on your date, but I do want you to know that Jisung and Chan have a... relationship of sorts." I spoke.

Felix tensed up at the last part, he must have known something then.

"I know there is something, but Jisung didn't mention much, and I didn't ask. He said that we shouldn't be in a relationship because of whatever is going on." Felix looked up at me teary eyed.

I don't think Jisung meant to hurt Felix per say but he did, and I told him I was going to come after him. However this is all one big fucking mess, Felix can't even have his own happy ending because of me.

"I'm sorry Lixie." I kissed the top of his head.

"It's not your fault Jinnie, Chan's an assbut and he doesn't deserve any of us. I honestly wished we weren't doing this whole job thing, but I know Minho has good intentions and you are also sacrificing a lot to be even in the same room as him." Felix sniffled.

"He is indeed an assbut, but he is good at what he does. He can rap and sing, he can dance and the other two are just as good. I don't think Changbin knows much but Jisung knows a bit he has too, but they are a family like we are. I'm hoping everything will be okay in the end Lix, so let us bear with it okay."

Felix nodded his head still crying and crashed into me again.

I held him for a while before he finally fell asleep, and I carried him back upstairs to his bed.

I tucked him in and his room was illuminated by some fairy lights just over his headboard, I took a good look around his room and noticed some things missing.

You could see where certain posters used to be, where certain pictures used to be. It was like he was trying to cleanse himself of his 3racha craze.

"Oh Lix..." I whispered.

I went back to Minho's room who was not sleeping anymore, he was sitting up against the headboard of his bed.

"Everything good?" Minho asked.

"Yeah, just talked to Felix then put him to bed. He knows the gist of everything now, but not everything." I spoke.

"Is he good?"  "Yeah, I think so, but I noticed in his room that he was slowly getting rid of his 3racaha memorabilia which he shouldn't be." "I'm sure everything will be okay soon enough; we don't have much longer until our contract with them is done. Let's just ride it out." "Right yeah everything will be fine Min, let's get back to bed."

Minho gave me a weird look but didn't say anything, he lowered himself down into the bed and turned off the light. He pulled me down next to him and pulled me close to his side, "Love you Hyunjin, and don't worry okay. Felix is strong, he has us, doesn't he?" Minho spoke.

"I know babe, and I have you." I kissed him.

Minho kissed me back and let it linger for a bit before resting his head on my chest.