I hate to admit

Protecting

Chan

I watched as Hyunjin got up to leave, I never thought I would see him again to be honest. Just seeing his picture that day stirred something within me, now seeing him in person brings back so many memories and not just the good ones either.

It took everything in me not to get up and follow him out the door.

"So, you two dated?" Asked Jisung. Shit.

"Um...yeah we met in high school, I had the biggest crush on him. I used to stay after school just to watch him in dance practice he had every day." I replied.

"Oh..." Jisung seemed sort of upset.

Looks like we are all in for one very interesting ride, let's hope shit doesn't totally hit the fan. Changbin had to excuse himself as he got a phone call and stepped outside, Jisung took Felix to look around the place and where they performed on stage.

Then there were two.

"I'm going to be honest here, it took me a bit to figure out who you were and put the pieces together. Hyunjin has told me things, but he never mentioned your name, so now here we are." Minho was stern.

"If you know who I am then why keep it from him?" I questioned. "Because if I would have told him once I figured it out, we wouldn't be here right now. Besides Felix is a big fan and this is a great opportunity for both our groups. I've also been there with Hyunjin, I know you put him through hell, but I don't know the whole truth of you, and I've seen Hyunjin's darkest moments. There was a time though I thought I'd never break through to him, the last breakdown he had was bad and I was there for him and even Felix. We are his family, and I won't let anything tear us apart."

Family huh? There was a time when I thought I could have been his family.

They say fame changes you and I guess that's what happened to me, I let it get the best of me and even drove Hyunjin away.

"Sure, you're family, you also love him, don't you? It's clearly obvious but let me tell you something, Hyunjin doesn't trust easily I should know. You kept this from him, whatever your intentions were he won't forgive you easily." I leaned in close to him. "I'm aware of that and I'll be ready to face the consequences but right now this is for all of us, so let's try and put our personal issues aside." Minho replied.

Well, I believe this won't end on a good note.

Soon after Changbin came back in and I'm pretty sure he felt the tension in the room. 

"Damn what did I miss?" Changbin looked between us.

"Nothing Bin we were just getting to know each other was all. I think it's getting late now; we should head back." I stood up and Minho followed suit.

"Right, I should go look for Felix. I suppose we will see you next week then?" Minho extended his hand. "Of course, we look forward to working with you." I took his hand and shook it.

Just as soon as our hands dropped, I could hear giggles coming from down the hall, and not soon after both Jisung and Felix entered the room. Both were all smiles and seemed genuinely comfortable with each other.

"Oh! Min, are we leaving?" Felix piped up. "Yes, Lix it's getting late and I'm sure they want to rest. Besides next week we will start our work with them and then you'll see them all the time." Minho walked over to Felix.

"Felix?" Jisung spoke.

"Mhmm." Felix replied.

Is it me or does Jisung look nervous?

"Is it possible for me to have your number?" Jisung looked up at Felix who had the biggest smile on his face. It was rather adorable. "Of course! Then we can talk to each other all the time." Felix smiled handing his phone over to Jisung.

Jisung hesitantly took his phone and added himself. With a smile on his face, he handed his phone back over. "I texted myself so now I have yours as well." Jisung said shyly.

"Great! I look forward to talking to you more." Felix replied.

Their interaction is the cutest thing ever, maybe Jisung can get to know Felix and get close to him. Maybe Jisung can give up on me, he'd only be hurt by me in the end.

After saying their goodbyes both boys left and now it was just the three of us again.

I started to pack up our stuff and the other two helped, this way it got done faster and our driver was waiting for us outside. When we were done and everything was gathered up, we headed out, it was fairly quiet and kind of weird. I know both of them are going to want answers and I don't know if I can give them any.

Once in the van Changbin immediately took to his phone and Jisung rested his head against the window as if he was going to sleep. It was a long drive back to our place, but it was long enough for short snooze.

I however don't think I'll be able to sleep at all, my mind is all over the place and I fucking hate it.

All I wanted to do was forget him completely like he never existed, like he never came into my life, or I never stepped into his. Hyunjin was my person at one point, but somewhere along the way I couldn't stand being with him.

It was a fucking great question as to why.

Now seeing him after years brings back so much and I hate it just as much as I missed him.

At some point it felt like we ruined each other, in the end however it was my fault. I almost took everything from him, I'm sure there was a point where he didn't want to continue anymore. Even after everything I was in a dark place, but I know he was in a much darker place.

When the van stopped, I knew we were home, it has been a while since we've been here.

Jisung was the first out the door and Changbin followed him, I was the last and with the help of the driver we took everything inside and then he departed.

I didn't have the energy to put anything away, I slowly made my way up to my room and slammed the door behind me.

My bed invited me, but sleep did not.

I don't even know how long I was laying there still in my clothes from the concert, I wasn't bothered to take a shower or get changed. All night my mind was going in a million fucking ways but now it's silent and dark.

I suddenly heard a faint knock on my door. I looked at the time and it only showed just past 2 in the morning.

"Come in." I managed to say.

It was fairly dark in my room the only light coming from the moon outside through the window but there was only one person that it could be.

"Channie..." Jisung whispered.