Kpop Sickfics & Hurtfics

When the Lights Fade (Juyeon)

Juyeon had always been the pillar of grace and strength in The Boyz. As the main dancer, he moved with precision, embodying every beat and lyric with fluidity and passion. His performances, filled with energy and poise, were the kind that left fans breathless. But lately, something inside him had shifted, and he didn't feel like that graceful pillar anymore.

It started subtly, so subtle that even Juyeon himself didn't recognize the creeping change at first. After an incident at a concert a few months ago, where an unexpected technical glitch caused an explosion of sound from the speakers, everything seemed fine. But slowly, the weight of that moment settled into his bones.

At their next concert, when the stage lights flashed bright and loud cheers erupted from the crowd, Juyeon felt his chest tighten. His vision blurred for a second, and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He tried to shake it off as post-performance exhaustion, but the feeling lingered.

"Are you okay?" Kevin had asked backstage after that performance, concern etching his voice.

"Yeah," Juyeon responded, forcing a smile. "Just a little tired."

But it wasn't just tiredness. Every time he walked onto the stage after that night, every loud cheer or unexpected sound sent a jolt of panic through him. The pounding of his heart and the dizziness that accompanied it were becoming harder to ignore.

The panic attacks started in silence, hidden from the others. During rehearsals, Juyeon would retreat to a corner of the practice room, clutching his knees to his chest, waiting for the world to stop spinning. At first, they happened only occasionally, triggered by exhaustion or stress. But as time went on, the attacks became more frequent, and more intense.

One evening, after a particularly gruelling practice session, the group gathered in the dorm's living room, chatting about their upcoming concert schedule. The usual buzz of excitement filled the air as they discussed new choreography and plans for the stage. Juyeon sat quietly, trying to focus on the conversation, but the room felt like it was closing in on him. The noise of the TV, the laughter of his friends, the chatter—it all blended together, a wall of sound that was too much, too loud.

His breathing became shallow, his vision blurred, and his hands started to tremble. He could feel the familiar rise of panic building in his chest, but this time, it was too strong to hide.

"Juyeon?" Sangyeon's voice cut through the haze. He was always the one to notice when something was off. "You okay?"

Juyeon nodded stiffly, but his body betrayed him. His vision darkened at the edges, and without warning, he bolted from the room, locking himself in the nearest bathroom. He leaned against the door, his heart racing, struggling to catch his breath.

Outside, the group fell into silence, confusion and concern etched on their faces. "Did something happen?" Jacob asked quietly.

"I don't know, but he looked really pale," Younghoon said, worry clear in his tone.

The panic attacks continued, but Juyeon refused to tell anyone. He feared they wouldn't understand. How could he explain that the crowds, the noise—the very things that made him come alive on stage—were now the source of his fear? He had always been known for his confidence and cool composure, the one who could handle any pressure. What if they saw him as weak?

He couldn't risk it.

But the more he tried to suppress it, the more his body rebelled. Rehearsals became unbearable. The heavy thud of the bass in the speakers made his head pound, and the choreographed movements that used to flow effortlessly became stiff and mechanical. His performance quality dropped, and he could sense the other members noticing.