Kpop Sickfics & Hurtfics

A Light That Flickers (Hoseok)

Hoseok had always been the bright one.

From the very beginning, he was the one with the loudest laugh, the biggest smile, and the boundless energy that kept the team going. His natural charisma and warmth had earned him the nickname "Sunshine" from both the members and fans alike. Every performance, every interview, every stage — he would light it up, making sure everyone felt the warmth and joy he radiated.

But sometimes, being the light came with a heavy price.

Today was one of those days.

The schedule had been packed from morning until night — a grueling rehearsal in the early hours, back-to-back interviews, and a fan signing event that ran late into the evening. The members were used to busy schedules, but the constant movement, the expectation to be "on" all the time, had worn down even the strongest of them. But Hoseok? He didn't have the luxury of showing it. He couldn't afford to break the image of BTS's sunshine, the one who lifted the spirits of his brothers when they were too tired to keep going.

As the day ended, the group finally returned to their dorm. The atmosphere was quieter than usual; the exhaustion from the day hung over them like a heavy cloud. Namjoon and Yoongi mumbled something about taking a shower, and Jin headed straight to the kitchen, as always trying to prepare something for everyone before bed. Taehyung and Jungkook were already sprawled on the couch, scrolling through their phones mindlessly, while Jimin quietly made his way to his room, looking ready to crash.

Hoseok stood in the entryway for a moment, eyes trailing over his members. They were worn out, sure, but they were together. They had each other to lean on. But him? The idea of leaning on anyone made his chest tighten. He didn't want to be a burden. Not when he was supposed to be the one who kept everyone else going.

Without saying a word, Hoseok turned toward his room, quietly slipping away before anyone could notice. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, finally allowing himself to breathe in the silence. The familiar darkness of his room felt like a sanctuary, a place where he didn’t have to be "J-Hope" — the endlessly positive performer who smiled no matter what. Here, he could just be Hoseok, the tired and emotionally drained man who was carrying too much on his shoulders.

He sank down onto the floor, his back pressed against the door, knees pulled up to his chest. The pressure in his chest grew, and he buried his face in his arms, fighting the urge to let the tears fall. But it was no use. The weight of expectation, the constant need to be perfect, to be happy — it all came crashing down on him, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he let himself cry.

It was quiet at first, the soft sniffles barely audible, but the longer he sat there, the more overwhelming the feelings became. The tears came faster, harder, until his shoulders were shaking with the effort of trying to hold back the sobs. He didn’t want the others to hear. He didn’t want them to see him like this — vulnerable, weak.

But he wasn’t as alone as he thought.

Outside, Jungkook passed by Hoseok’s door on his way to the kitchen. His step faltered as he heard a muffled sound coming from inside. He paused, leaning closer to the door, and listened more carefully. The sound of quiet sobs reached his ears, and his heart dropped. He knew that sound. He’d been there himself, more times than he cared to admit.

Worried, he hurried down the hall, finding Yoongi in the kitchen with Jin. Without thinking, he tugged on Yoongi’s sleeve, pulling him away from their eldest hyung.

“What’s up?” Yoongi asked, frowning as he looked at Jungkook’s anxious expression.

“It’s Hoseok hyung,” Jungkook whispered, glancing nervously toward the hallway. “I think he’s… crying. I heard him when I walked past his door.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened in concern. “Crying?”

“Yeah… He’s been acting off today. I thought he was just tired, but now I’m not so sure.”

Yoongi nodded, his worry growing. Hoseok was usually the one comforting them, not the other way around. If he was crying, it meant something was seriously wrong. Together, they made their way toward Hoseok’s room, stopping in front of the door. They exchanged a glance before Yoongi gently knocked.

“Hobi?” Yoongi’s voice was soft, careful not to startle him. “Can we come in?”

The silence that followed was heavy, but after a few moments, they heard a quiet, shaky, “Yeah.”

Yoongi slowly pushed open the door, and they stepped inside. Hoseok was sitting on the floor, his face buried in his arms. His body was trembling slightly, and it was clear he’d been crying for some time. The sight made Jimin’s chest ache.

Without hesitation, Jungkook knelt beside him, gently placing a hand on his back. “Hyung… what’s going on?”

Hoseok didn’t answer right away. He stayed curled up, feeling embarrassed and exposed. But the gentle touch of Jungkook’s hand and the quiet presence of Yoongi next to him made it hard to keep everything bottled up.

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok finally muttered, his voice hoarse from crying. “I didn’t want you guys to see me like this.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Yoongi asked softly, sitting down beside him. “It’s okay to feel like this, Hobi. You don’t always have to be strong for us.”

“But that’s what I’m supposed to be,” Hoseok replied, his voice cracking. “I’m supposed to be the one who makes everyone else smile. I can’t… I can’t let you guys see me like this. It’s not who I’m supposed to be.”

“Hoseok-hyung,” Jungkook said, his voice gentle but firm, “you’re human. You don’t always have to be happy or cheerful. We all have bad days. It doesn’t make you any less of our sunshine.”

Hoseok’s tears fell harder at that. He hadn’t realized just how much he needed to hear those words. The pressure to always be perfect, to always be the bright one, had weighed on him for so long that he’d forgotten what it felt like to let himself be vulnerable.

Yoongi reached out, wrapping an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders. “Hoseok, you’ve always been there for us. You’re the one who lifts us up when we’re down, but that doesn’t mean you can’t lean on us too. We’re a team, remember? We’re supposed to take care of each other.”

Hoseok shook his head, tears still streaming down his face. “But what if I let you down? What if… what if I can’t be that person for you anymore?”

Jungkook gave him a small, sad smile. “Hyung, you don’t have to be anyone but yourself. We love you for who you are, not just for the happy version of you. It’s okay to have moments like this. We’ll always be here for you.”

For a long moment, they sat in silence. Hoseok could feel the warmth of their presence beside him, grounding him, reminding him that he didn’t have to carry everything on his own. Slowly, he lifted his head, wiping his tear-stained cheeks with the back of his hand. His eyes were red and puffy, his expression tired, but there was a sense of relief in his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, his voice softer this time.

Yoongi shook his head, pulling him into a tighter hug. “Don’t be sorry. We’re here because we care about you. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide this from us.”

Hoseok let out a shaky breath, finally allowing himself to relax in their embrace. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders — the weight of trying to be perfect, of always being "on." For once, he could just be himself, flaws and all, and that was enough.

After a while, Jungkook spoke again, his tone lighter this time. “How about we all just hang out here for a bit? No pressure, no expectations. We can just chill and talk. Or not talk. Whatever you want.”

Hoseok nodded, grateful for the offer. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

And so they stayed, the three of them sitting together in the quiet of Hoseok’s room. They didn’t need to say much — the silence was comforting in its own way. For the first time in a long while, Hoseok felt like he could breathe again, knowing that he didn’t have to be the sunshine all the time. He could just be Hoseok, and that was more than enough.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the most important thing of all.