Kpop Sickfics & Hurtfics

Winter Shadows: A Journey Through the Tour Blues (Johnny)

The winter tour was in full swing, and NCT's energy was at an all-time high. Each night, the members brought their best to the stage, feeling the electricity of the crowd and reveling in the excitement of performing for their fans. But for Johnny, something felt... different. The spark that usually made him feel alive on stage was dim, replaced by an overwhelming sense of heaviness he couldn't quite shake.

Johnny had always loved winter. He'd grown up with Chicago winters, known the sharp bite of cold winds and the serene beauty of snowfall. But this winter felt different. Days were shorter, colder, and the bleakness of overcast skies seeped into him, making it hard to muster the energy that used to come so easily. The days started to blur together, and the exhaustion that came with constant travel weighed on him more than ever.

At first, he brushed it off as normal fatigue. Long hours, the constant touring—it was demanding, even for someone as strong and resilient as him. He kept up his usual smile, laughing along with the other members during interviews, trying to match their excitement during practices. But as the weeks passed, he noticed the laughter didn't reach his eyes the same way it used to. He couldn't ignore it anymore: something was off.

When the other members started to pick up on his mood, they became concerned. Taeyong was the first to notice the change; he'd known Johnny long enough to see when his friend was struggling. During rehearsals, Johnny often seemed lost in thought, a faraway look clouding his usually warm gaze.

One evening after practice, Taeyong approached him, his voice gentle. "Hey, Johnny. Everything okay?"

Johnny forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah, just tired, you know? Winter's got me feeling a little sluggish."

Taeyong watched him closely, sensing that there was more to it. "Maybe you just need a day off. We could try doing something fun, recharge a bit?"

Johnny hesitated, not wanting to admit the sadness that had settled in his chest. "Thanks, man. Maybe I'll try that." He hoped it would be that simple, that a day off could lift the heavy fog that seemed to surround him. But even when he took some time to himself, the feelings lingered. No amount of rest seemed to clear his mind, and every day felt harder than the last.

As the days passed, the other members began to take notice too. Johnny was usually the type to crack jokes and lift everyone's spirits, but now, he mostly stayed quiet, keeping to himself between sets. At meal times, he'd sit silently, picking at his food, his once hearty appetite replaced by a hollow feeling that made it difficult to eat.

Jaehyun, who often partnered with Johnny in their routines, became particularly worried. After a performance one night, he pulled Johnny aside.

"Hey, you haven't seemed like yourself lately," Jaehyun said, his voice laced with concern. "Is something bothering you?"

Johnny shook his head, feeling a lump form in his throat. He didn't want to worry the others; they were all working hard, and he didn't want to be the one to bring them down. "Nah, I'm just feeling the winter blues, I guess. I'll be fine."

Jaehyun placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You know you can talk to us, right? We're here for you."

Johnny managed a small smile, appreciating Jaehyun's concern, but still found it hard to open up. He didn't know how to explain what he was feeling. How could he describe the weight of sadness that had wrapped itself around him, the exhaustion that went beyond physical tiredness?

As they continued through the tour, Johnny's struggle became more apparent. He started making more mistakes during practice, his movements slower, his focus slipping. The members did their best to support him, reminding him to take breaks, but Johnny's frustration grew. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the heaviness in his heart.

One day, they had a rare free afternoon, and Johnny found himself lying on his hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. He felt numb, the emptiness pressing down on him. A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Johnny-hyung?" It was Doyoung. "Can I come in?"

Johnny sat up, nodding. "Sure."

Doyoung entered, carrying a small bag. He sat down beside Johnny, setting the bag on the bed. "I've noticed you've been struggling lately," he said gently. "I know you might not want to talk about it, but... I thought maybe these might help." He pulled out a few items—a small journal, a lavender-scented candle, and some tea bags.

Johnny looked at the items, his eyes stinging. He hadn't realized how much he needed someone to reach out. "Thanks, Doyoungie," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't really know what's going on... I just feel so drained all the time."

Doyoung gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sometimes, winter can bring this feeling on. It's called seasonal affective disorder. You're not alone in this, Johnny. We all have times when things get hard."

Johnny nodded, the weight of Doyoung's words settling into him. It was a relief to know that there was a name for what he was feeling, that it was something people experienced. For the first time in weeks, he felt a small glimmer of hope.

That night, he tried writing in the journal. At first, he wasn't sure what to write, but as he let his thoughts flow, he found himself putting words to the feelings he'd been carrying. The next morning, he felt a little lighter, the act of writing somehow easing the burden.

The other members noticed the change, and they began to make small efforts to lift Johnny's spirits. Mark and Haechan dragged him out of bed early one morning, insisting on a walk to get some fresh air. Despite the cold, the crisp air felt good, the winter landscape a quiet reminder of beauty even in the bleakness.

When they reached a park nearby, Mark pulled out his phone, grinning. "You up for a snowball fight?"

Johnny couldn't help but laugh as Mark and Haechan pelted him with snowballs, their laughter filling the air. For a moment, he forgot the weight he'd been carrying, letting himself be fully in the moment.

As the days passed, the members continued to rally around him. Taeil, always observant, suggested they play games together to distract him, and Jaehyun often brought him his favorite snacks, quietly encouraging him to eat. Taeyong even found a light therapy lamp, setting it up in Johnny's room to mimic sunlight and lift his mood.

With their support, Johnny felt himself slowly starting to come back to life. There were still days when the sadness crept in, when the exhaustion felt overwhelming, but he no longer felt like he was fighting it alone. Each time he felt himself slipping, one of the members would be there, offering a hand to help him back up.

One evening, after a particularly good performance, Johnny gathered the members together. "I just wanted to say thank you," he began, his voice filled with emotion. "I don't think I could've made it through this tour without you guys. I didn't know how much I needed you, but... I'm so grateful."

Taeyong wrapped an arm around Johnny's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "We're a team, Johnny. We're always here for you, no matter what."

Johnny felt his heart swell with gratitude. He knew that the journey wasn't over, that there would still be days when he struggled, but he also knew he didn't have to face it alone. With his friends by his side, he felt stronger, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.