I Didn't Want To Love Him

16 (Uh-oh) :\

I get out of the shower, it was kind of chilly so I put on my thermal pajama. I get out of the bathroom and lie in the bed pulling the covers up to my neck and tearing up as I watch Blake cuddling Tyler.

I wipe a tear coming down my cheek, Blake doesn’t notice since he’s giving me his back. I was heartbroken… I know I still had feelings for Eric but they were from the past, and Blake is here now. Either way Blake felt like the only reason I chose him is because he’s Tyler’s dad, but I really do love him. I know it’s stupid but if that was how he was going to feel I prefer that he felt that than thinking I was staying with him for his money, like most women do.

He puts Tyler back on the crib and heads to the bathroom to take a bath. A few minutes later Tyler starts to cry, it was time to feed him so I got up from bed, picked him up and sat on the rocking chair to start breast feeding him. I put on a blanket over him to cover myself in case Blake came out. I know he’s seen me naked before but with what’s happening I felt uncomfortable. I hum a song to him while I feed him and Blake opens the bathroom door and just stays there… staring at me. He had a serious face but I could see the joy in his eyes.

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Blake’s P.O.V.

I step out of the shower and grab a towel. I was going to sleep in the guestroom since me and Kara weren’t so good right now. I open the door to head out and I see Kara breast feeding Tyler, I just stared at her, I know it sounds weird but it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. She was holding my child… Our child. It didn’t matter who she chose, he was mine and so was she in some sort of way. I was just amazed he’s a little part of both of us put together… a product of our love.

She looked at me with concern, I guess all the staring was kind of creepy. I start walking to the bed and sit down. I exhale and take my head down to my hand.

“Kara?”

She looks up at me with sadness in her face “Yeah?”

My eyes go from the floor to hers “I’m sorry, I mean I was all up on you even though you chose me and the fact that you chose me should count for something.” She puts her head back and gives me a weak smile, I could see she was extremely tired so I didn’t ask her for a response.

I stand up and go towards her and kiss her on the top of her head. I kneel down in front of her and take the blanket off her to see Tyler eating.

“Those are mine too, you know? Go easy” I tell Tyler joking which made Kara chuckle, and I smiled because I loved to see her happy.

I give her a light kiss “I love you, I should have never doubted your actions, I guess I was just scared”

“Of what?”

“Of you choosing Eric, I can see you still have feelings for him and if you want to be with him, I’ll be okay with it. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care”

“My feeling came back because I thought he was dead. But I love you now you’re here not him. My love for him is from the past and even though they came crawling back… they’re in the past. But you? And Tyler?... You’re my future.” Her words almost brought tears to my eyes and made my heart skip a beat, so I start kissing her passionately.

“Babe? He’s still eating” she says between kisses.

“Sorry. Hey big guy, can you speed it up? Me and your mom need to um… do stuff” she chuckles again.

A few minutes later she finishes breast feeding and puts him back in the crib. I creep up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

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