I Didn't Want To Love Him

171 (Feelings Bottled Up Inside)

Hi guys! So FINALLY my brain lit up! Enjoy! Let me know what yo think and thank you for your patience :)

Kara's P.O.V.

We all came back to L.A. and I'll admit, it'll take some time to adjust. Things between Blake and I were awkward. Not speaking to each other for 6 months kind of made us grew apart. The kids were happy though, so I was happy.

"Hey I gotta go." I see Blake with a suitcase.

"Again? You came back yesterday, to play today, to leave again tonight?"

"You know this is my life, Kara."

"I know it is but you just got the kids back. Can Doc give you a break so you can be with them?"

"It's not Doc's fault or mine I missed six months of their lives."

"You know what Blake, just say it." I somewhat order him.

"Say what?"

"That you hate me."

"I don't hate you." He says.

"Yes you do, I took those kids from you for six months!" I walk away to what used to be our bedroom... I brought me back so much memories.

"I don't." He cups my face and kisses me.

"Stop!" I yank his hands away. "Stop keeping all that anger bottled up! Yell at me, scream for God's sake! Tell me how you really feel!"

"You don't want to know how I feel, their not nice words."

"And I deserve them."

All right... I hated you-- I hate you! You're a fucking bitch! God! I swore to myself that if I ever found you I would do the same thing to you. Six months, six fucking months! What the fuck is wrong with you?! What did I ever do to you to make you do this to me?"

"You left our kids alone with Cynthia." I say calmly.

"That does not justify six months without seeing them! Or even knowing they were okay!!"

"I'm sorry, I don't condone what I did. I wish I could take it back, I really do."

"But you can't, Kara!"

"I know." I say tearfully.

"Since you want me to blurt out everything I have bottled up inside, I want a divorce."

"A divorce? Blake--"

"Don't... I want that divorce. I don't care if you take half of my money, you're going to sign thos papers and I'm taking custody of the kids."

"What? No, you can't do that."

"Watch me."

"Blake I get that you're angry but please... They're my life."

"They're my life too."

"They're the only thing I live for! You have basketball to distract you, I have nothing."

"That's exactly what I had for six months!"

"Oh grow up! You had basketball and Ford, and Brynn too."

"Grow up? You're the one who has to grow up! When are you gonna stop running from everything and face life?!"

"I--"

"You what? You had a screwed up childhood? So do lots of people! Your mom didn't love you boo-hoo, it's not the end of the world."

"That's easy for you to say! You had the perfect little life! Since you were a kid everyone knew you were going to be a superstar. God, your future was probably written for you since you were in your mom's stomach! I practically raised myself!"

"God, you always gotta be the victim."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Cause those kids deserve a stable home. Now having a new one everytime mommy's feelings get hurt."

**Two Weeks Later:

We were to present ourselves in front of a judge to discuss temporarily custody. Blake had his lawyer but I can't afford one so I'm on my own...

"Have both parties signed the divorce papers?"

"No, your honor." Blake's lawyer spoke. "We're still wating on Mrs. Griffin."

"Mrs. Griffin, why haven't you sign the papers?"

"I don't have time, your honor. I have 5 kids to take care of."

"Please do so by the next meeting. Today we are to discuss the children. Where are they now?"

"With my client's mother, your honor."

"I need a testimony."

"The oldest is here, ma'am."

"With the consent of the parents?"

"Yes." Both Blake and I say... Tyler walks in and the judge start talking to him...

"So Tyler, if mommy and daddy were to live in different houses, who would you like to live with?" She asks him.

"Do I have to choose?"

"I'm afraid so..."

"Well... I have lots of fun with daddy, but mommy takes care of us."

"So daddy's all play?"

"He takes care of us too. But if I have to choose, I choose mommy. I love daddy but mommy takes more care of us, and daddy has lots of friends, and mommy doesn't... I don't want mommy to be lonely."

Hearing my kid say that hurt. I can't believe Blake is making him go throught his, all of them.

"All right, thank you Tyler, why don't you go wait for your parents outside."

"You're honor, I have evidence here that Mrs. Griffin is not fit to look after these children." He hands her a folder.

"What? I've been taking care of them since the first one was born!"

"Attempted suicides, attempted murder? You beat someone almost half to death?" She asks me.

"I was 18!" How can Blake bring up my past like this?

"Legally an adult." Blake's lawyer says.

"Not where I'm from. In Puerto Rico you're legally an adult at the age of 21! Your honor, I haven't gotten in any trouble since then."

"An ex-boyfriend hit your oldest, and a year later gets kidnapped by another ex of yours."

"Wha-- no."

"I'm granting temporarly custody to the father, next case!" She bangs the gavel.

"Wait no, please!"

"Till next time Mrs. Griffin, and make sure you sign those papers. You'll have a lot of free time now."

"How much did he pay you?"

"Excuse you?"

"That's what happened, right? I mean you didn't even hear my side of the story."

"One more word and I'll find you in contempt young lady!"

"How much?"

"Kara..." Blake tries to keep me from saying anything more.

"That's it, you're in contempt $1,000 bond! Bailiff, take her into custody."

What the hell? Why would Blake go so low for this? Take me away, I don't care. It's not the first time I spent a night in jail anyway...

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So things are not good with their relationship, how do you feel about the outcome?