I Didn't Want To Love Him

169 (Your Move)

Kara's P.O.V.

After this morning's scare I begin to think how I've done Blake wrong. I can't believe I could do something this low to him. The kids were playing in the living room and I'm gonna take the chance to tell Blake about moving back to L.A.

"Hey." I sit next to him.

"Sorry about taking them like that." 

"It's okay. I guess I deserved it... I wanted to talk to you about moving back."

"Yeah, sure. I could stay at a different room if you feel more comfortable."

"I was thinking more like staying at another place..."

"Why?"

"Blake--"

"Kara I'm not that guy anymore."

"Do you know how many time you've said that?"

"I know I've said it hundreds of times but none of the other times you've taken the kids like that."

"I just-- I can't risk it."

"What's life without taking a little risk?"

"I already took that risk and it lead to Tyler. And I'm not saying I regret it because I don't, I love all of them. But you and I... we're just not good for each other."

"I haven't talked to aunt Cynthia since you left."

"...Good for you, really." I say in all seriousness. "But that's not gonna get me back. It's just too late..."

"Do I at least have a chance? Or is your love for me fully gone?"

"My love for you will never be gone..." I hope that answers his question, if it wasn't to obvious.

"Are you gonna stay with us forever now, daddy?" Emma asks.

"I hope so." She climbs to his chest and gives him a hug.

"I hope so too."

"Why did you think I was away so much?" He asks her, thinking I planted something negative on their minds.

"Well, mommy said you were working a lot but that you loved us very much."

"I'm gonna do the best I can to be with you as much as I can." She runs off.

"Can you believe we created that?" he asks me, wanting to bring back the memories.

"Wow, you don't waste any time, do you?" I chuckle.

He laughs. "Nope."

"Good night." I leave.

"Night."

____________________O______________________

Blake's P.O.V.

I couldn't help but ogle her as she left. God how I missed her touch, all of her. Even her fights... The kids were drifting to sleep so I just follow her. I know she asked me to walk away but I can't, I'll always be drawn to her. I follow her to her room where she started to take her top off until she notices me.

"Blake..." She warns.

"Just hear me out."

"What?"

"I love you... Nothing will ever change that. We created a family together and I don't regret any of it, the way that it happened, or even the way Tyler came into this world... Yes, of course I would've preffered it to have been another way but that was the day I knew what I felt and still feel for you..." I got closer as I talked to her.  "When I got that call, I was more scared of losing you."

"How could you say that?"

"I know it's an asshole thing to say. But I just thought that, if you had lost the baby, we could've tried again... But if I lost you, I never would've had the love of my life back." I cup her face and stare deep into her eyes.

"Are you ogling me?" she asks in a low tone.

"What? I can't ogle my own wife?" She doesn't say anything. "If you want to divorce me, I'll let you be free. I don't want you to be miserable because of me... I'm gonna respect your decision to not act up on anything but we're here, alone... it's your move." I continue to ogle her... I wasn't gonna force her have sex with me, but she said nothing about turning her on and making her be the want to do it.

"That's not fair... you're too close and talking with that stupid deep voice."

"If not, just take pity on me."

"You want me to have pity sex with you?"

"I want to have any kind of sex with you..." I put my lips close to hers. Then I notice her alarm clock striking 12:00 am... "Look at that... it's my birthday."

"So now you want birthday sex? It's the twins birthday too, you know?"

"I know, it was the best birthday of my life... except, crazy you wanted to keep the in for another day."

"Excuse me for not wanting to ruin your birthday."

"Well you didn't, you just made it better."

"Is this all sweet talk to get me to sleep with you?"

"No, but is it working?"

"No."

"You liar." I chuckle... "You're jealous."

"Of who?" She asks confused.

"You're wondering who was the last woman to sleep with me... Kate? Brynn, maybe?"

"And you wonder why you're and ass--"

"You." I cut her off before she continues insulting me... "You were my last."

"I'm supposed to believe that?"

"You really think I had time for that? I was losing my mind wondering where you were... I called your family everyday."

"I'm sorry, I was wrong."

"What? Is Kara Flux admitting a mistake?" And just like that she began to cry on my chest. She squeezed my shirt and started to kneel down but I pick her up before she touches the floor. "Hey, hey. Come on." I pick her up and take her to her bed. Where she leans on me to continue to cry.

"I'm so sorry... And it hurts me to know you'll never forgive me for it." 

"It takes time." I hug her tight and kiss her forehead.

"Not for this."

"Is that why you don't want to get back with me? Cause you think I won't forgive you?"

"It's more than that, Blake. I already told you."

"Look at me... We've been together for five years, gotten over every obstacle and still managed to raise five kids. I may be an idiot and an asshole, but I do know that I love you. I won't ask you to give me another chance again, I know I've had too many of those already. But I'll let you choose the next step with us. Whether it's divorce or try to go forward with our relationship. I won't be mad, I'll understand... I didn't deserve a second chance, let alone all the ones that came after. But I know we'll be okay, we always are... just give me time."

She takes takes a deep breath and exhales deeply. I don't have a doubt in my mind and heart that I love her. Even with what she did I'm willing to move forward, but the next move is on her...

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Should Kara give it one more shot at their relationship?