I Didn't Want To Love Him

98

Blake's P.O.V.

"I'm sorry" I gave my condolences as I hugged her, I felt like such an asshole "John?"

"No, Marcus" she sniffled 

"Marcus? What happened?" I let go and cups her face

"He was shot, why would he do this?"

"Do what? What happened?"

"He went back to the army"

"I thought he couldn't go back after the operation he had"

"Yeah well, he found a way"

"Kara, I'm so sorry. I never should've left" I apologized, she yanks her face from my hands and sits on her bed.

"Shut up, just shut up please" I did as she asked. "I should be insulting you right now, telling you to go to hell"

"I know"

"I don't know how much more I can take"

"I can change"

"Yeah, I've heard that before... Tyler's mad at you, I thought you should know"

"And you?"

"Me? I can barely look at you"

"I was a dick, I know, I don't want to be forgiven, I don't deserve it. I mean I kissed some girl and told you I didn't care, I was trying to hurt you"

"Well congratulations, you did"

"Well you hurt me too"

"And I was sorry for it the moment I said it, I didn't even mean it that way it just came out wrong!!"

"So what did you mean?"

"Oh, now you wanna know?!! Now you're willing to listen?!!!"

"Okay, calm--" I stopped, remembering her words of how not to tell a Puertorrican woman to calm down "It's okay, just tell me"

 "What do you care? You made it clear you didn't care when you left"

"Hey!" I say loud, walking towards her and cupping her face once again. "I do care. Just because I'm mad doesn't mean I don't care. He was your brother, you're hurt, I'm here for you"

"I needed you when I got the news he was dead, not now" she pushes my hand away and starts walking to the door but I grabbed her arm before she could reach it. "Let me go"

"No"

"Let me go!"

"No! I'm not letting you go, I'll never let you go" I whispered and she began to cry. With pain she crouched to the floor, I go down with her and comfort her. I put her head on my chest for her to rest and cradle her. "No matter what we go through, I love you"

"Why?"

"I just do... don't you?"

She nodded "But you hurt me too much"

"I guess that's why men are such assholes"

"When I said what I said, I meant that... if I had gotten the abortion with Tyler, you wouldn't have come back and we wouldn't have a life together, therefore we wouldn't have our other kids... I didn't mean I didn't want them" I felt horrible hearing her explination, I judged her too quickly, which made me a jerk.

"I would've come back, I fell in love with you during the time I was here. I jumped to conclucions and didn't wait to hear your side"

"You just hear what you want to hear, you take it out on people and you run away"

"I don't run away"

"Blake, you didn't go to Croatia for fun, you went to get away from all of this for a while... which is why I think you're just not ready to be a father" she starts to get away from me, not to mention her word hurt.

"Hey, I'm a good father"

"I'm not saying you're a bad one, someone who's ready doesn't ignore his kids calls because he's mad with the mom"

"I know I was wrong in leaving, in ignoring, on everything but please don't say that to me"

"Does Tyler know you're here?" she changed the subject, I let it go I know better than to push her too hard

"No he hasn't seen me"

"Then you should go talk to him, it's not me you should be apologizing for not picking up"

I go downstairs to look for Tyler and apologize but he found me before I did.

"Daddy!" he ran to me with arms wide open. I pick him up and hug him.

"Hey buddy, I'm so sorry for not picking up the phone, I'm sorry"

"Why did you leave?"

"I had to work" I lie, there's no point in telling him we were fighting. As I talk to Tyler I spot John. "Hey man, I'm sorry about what happened"

"Where the hell have you been man?" he asked a bit annoyed "You hurt my sister"

"I know, I'm trying to fix it"

A short after I came downstair, Kara came too. She was walking to her sister but a man stopped her, she smiled when she saw him, he gave her flowers and a kiss on the cheek. I couldn't help to feel jealousy and who woulnd't, a guy giving flowers and a kiss to my wife? 

"Who the hell's that?" I ask John

"Hm, Sam... The bandage trying to heal Kara's heart, so whatever you're planning on fixing, you better do it fast. And before you think about it, this is not the time or place to give a punch" it was like he read my mind.

____________________________o______________________________

Kara's P.O.V.

I went downstairs a bit after Blake did, I was walking to my sisters when I felt someone stopping me... Sam, quite a charming man I might say, tall, brown hair, green eyes. I knew what he was trying to do but I'm too smart for it and I'm in no mood. Besides I'm married and I love him too much to hurt him this way.

"Kara, I'm so sorry about your brother"

"Thank you" I said as he gave me some flowers and a kiss on the cheek which send chills down my spine and even a small grin creeped out of me.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked me

"Yeah, I'll be fine"

"Good, if you need anything just let me know"

I nodded but of course I wasn't really going to "I'll just put these in my room" I smile at the flowers, noticing there was a calla lilly in there. I grab a vase from the kitchen and go place them in my room. I didn't think about it the whole time but now all I think about is hoping Blake didn't see any of it, the flowers, the kiss and especially my smile. The last thing I want him to think is that there's something going on between Sam and me. But little did I know he was in the front seat of the whole show...