Devotion||h.s / NOT FINISHED / inactive

Chapter 15

Harrys POV

I storm out of the classroom..

What a fucking bitch.. and i thought i actually thought this girl was different. Ever since i fucking looked in her big brown eyes the day when i saved her clumsy ass from falling in the mud. god shes clumsy, and the look in her eyes when she gets scared. she...

what the fuck am i doing? shes a total bitch shes just well... God words cant explain that bitch. God damn her... who the fuck does she think she is to just attack me in front of the whole class. This is why i don't tell people shit they fucking stab me in the back two fucking days later. I dont even know why i told Alison about my Nanna. It must of slipped because why in the hell would I get myself into that. I swear to god if she tells Eli...

She deserved what i said about her... i want her to know how pathetic i think she is for hooking up with Eli, and no I'm not fucking jealous i just don't understand why a girl like that would be with Eli.. she is way to good for him, and hell shes way to good for me but at least i fucking know that. I don't see what would happen anyways with her and I...us fucking and kissing a few times. Well what I'm doing with Lindsey at the moment and currently Lindsey's been fucking annoying.... who the hell does she think she is kissing me at school and shit, and the other day she grabbed my hand. who the hell said she could do that. Ive been fucking cheating on her when ever i can. We are labeled as boyfriend and girlfriend but i don't fucking care, As long as shes sleeping with me they can call us whatever shit names they want. Its also better if people leave my fucking love life alone and just think we are boyfriend and girlfriend so they can mind their own damn business. I guess Alison's just the one i wanted when i get completely sick of Lindsey and toss her.

not the hell anymore Alison is a fucking psychopath.

i used to be much worse. I would sleep with a different girl every night, then i got better and went to week, and now im using them for sometimes a few months. So i let them call us whatever they want

I don't even know why I wanted her to be my next "girlfriend" or what i mean girl that i have sex with for a month or two. All i know is right when i looked at her i knew. I felt something different, and i don't know what the hell it is.

and i still feel it... i don't understand why id still want to fuck her.... if thats what i even want?

shit I'm confused... I'm done with all this feelings shit and I'm sick of thinking... my fucking head hurts now.

Fuck it... I'm going home.

When i get home i drop my school stuff on the floor and open up the liquor cabin.

I try hard not to drink because when i drink that means i drink a lot and I'm afraid that ill keep doing it.

I'm not gonna explain my god damn life story but ill just start from when i was a freshmen 14 years old in England. My dad and mum are some huge CEO's in a huge ass company that always fucking needed them. I was alone a lot... i really only had my nanna. She basically raised me, but as she got sick we spent less and less time together everyday. I thought I was okay, but being alone all day long everyday at 14 years old really fucked with my head. As i got lonelier and lonelier i screwed up my whole life by drinking and being a fucking drug addict, i was already very depressed and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but that was before i even started drinking and doing drugs. And i have no fucking clue how Alison guessed that I was bipolar and she fucking said it at the top of her lungs. I guess it maybe shows more than I thought it did. Eli always jokes around with me and calls me it because of my mood changes but he has no fucking clue. I bet he told Alison that I was bipolar like a fucking idiot. Whatever fuck them..