Devotion||h.s / NOT FINISHED / inactive

Chaoter 34

Harrys POV

Im sitting at my desk playing with my pencil and moving my leg about 100 miles an hour.

You just couldn't do it Harry, You just couldn't try to be somewhat nice without seducing her. God i wanted to rip her clothes right off and fuck her right on the teachers fucking desk.

Im just going to try not to engage in conversation. I cant be a dick though because i know chicks they will get all offended and then we cant work together in creative writing. As far as it goes i do actually care about my grades. Im not one of those dumbfucks who dont understand the fact that your results in highschool will determine your entire life. Well I was like that but not anymore. But back to the point .. i guess i just couldn't ignore her. I knew I wanted to fuck her but this is different from just finding a cute girl and saying hey i'm gonna make that mine till i get bored. I mean i think of those girls more of a tool. I only need them when i'm horny and i never think about them. I like to be alone and do things alone, but i'm still a guy so i'm gonna need something. And anyways why would i master bate when i can just call any girl and they'll be running over to me in seconds.

But Alison.. Alison is different then them. I cant stop thinking about her, i would never use her like that, i would fuck her though, and the last thing id want to do is hurt her. For gods fucking sake if i'm starting to get feelings for this chick both of our worlds are going to end. I spent my whole god damn life building up girls to only be there when needed. Guy's need sex... so ill just use girls then, and people... you only need them when necessary like i need friends at school or id be a fucking loser. When i feel like im going emotionally dry i talk to my nanna to get me back to life and then I'm on my own again. Part of the deal is Nanna having to watch over me in Virginia.. which can i say is fucking stupid because she lives in a nursing home and doesn't watch me but anyways i have to tell her everything.. and i don't really mind walking around in circles for a little bit getting my anger out on the world.

But back to the only needing people for certain reasons.. heres why. I don't want to fall in love with a girl, get married, have kids, and then in a few years have the fakest fucking marriage not even talking to each other or sitting by each other or showing any love at all just like my parents, and thats what i believe will happen in marriages, love, or any other bullshit like that. Also like my dads friends, they were not fucking friends they wouldn't even help him up off the ground if it meant getting their business suits fucking dirty.

So saying that i would just like to confirm that everyone only needs yourself because you cannot count on people for anything no matter how much love they have for you they will always choose the best for them. My Nanna wouldn't do that but thats only because shes old.. if she were younger I'm sure she would do the same... why? because shes a person just like the rest of us. Actually well.. i don't fucking know. I'll just say she wouldn't since she's the only person I have in my life that doesn't feel like an act for survival, and i'm sure if i ever did get close to Alison she would disappoint me like all the rest and i would be more fucked up then i am now which is a risk I'm not gonna take.

The bell rings and my good moods gone i bolt out out of the classroom as fast as i fucking can.

Alisons POV

and there it is once again BAAAM.. he's gone. I'm actually starting to think there might be something wrong with him. I wonder what goes on in his mind.

I walk out of the classroom with only my thoughts. I'm thinking if something could be wrong with him mentally, or if something happend, and for some reason i just really care and i really want to know. Its like all my mind wants me to do is help him somehow. I snap out of it when Lizzie says "Whats wrong Alison?" . Before i can answer Mia asks "What happend" and Trevor is just standing there looking concerned.

"No no.. i'm ok i just had a long day and i'm thinking about my sister..." i lie.. and before they ask i say "We got in a big fight" which is true but i know we will be ok.

"Aw poor thing.. things will get better" says Lizzie and wraps her arm around my neck.

"Come on lets go to the cafeteria before Trevor kills us" she gestures her eyes to trevor and puts her arm around the other side of my neck. we walk like that the whole way to the cafeteria