Sanders Sides OneShots

I'm Sorry (A/N)

Feel free to skip this. It's stupid and pointless.

I'm sorry.

I have three things in my drafts, and I can't seem to get them to go anywhere. They've been there for a week or so now (well two have) and I just can't find any motivation.

Maybe I procrastinate too much, maybe it's other things. I don't know.

I really don't. I'm sorry.

I may let you down, or disappoint you. I'm sorry. I want to get something out and I'm trying, so hard. I'm trying and trying but there's nothing fluffy left.

My mind is so... ugh right now. Literally, I cannot seem to be happy. I just don't know.

Please help and give me ideas for stuff to write. I have nothing. My mind is dead.

I'm trying to relax, but my mind is racing, and I don't know why, I have no motivation to do anything.

I wrote 1,000 words of a oneshot, and I deleted it. I couldn't find any way to continue it. I knew where I wanted it to go, but I couldn't get it to go there. So I got frustrated, after a week of working on it, I gave up and deleted it. I started over and scrapped the entire thing. I'm sorry I can't even get anything out.

My other books haven't been updated and I suck as an author, I feel like I have so much, yet nothing to do. And I can't seem to even do anything.

My mind says to sleep, but I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep. Heck, I can't sleep. I just lay and stare at the wall.

I'm at that point where I could hang off my bed upside down and not care.

I need to do stuff and I don't want to. I have no motivation. I don't want to get up in the morning, I don't want to go to school or work, I don't want to do anything. It's all too much.

Im sorry.

I really am. My room is a mess again. I can't keep tidy, and my mind is worse. It's like a jumble of string that can't be untangled and ugh.

Is ugh a feeling? Because I feel it a lot.

I feel lonely half the time, I want a relationship too, and writing these things makes that harder. But I don't want one too. I just want someone like these oneshots have. I'm jealous of imaginary characters. Why is fiction so much better than reality? Can I just live in a world of fiction?

I feel like I have few to no friends and it sucks. I want to have someone and life is just... ugh.

I think I need help.

I'm sorry.
Sorry.

I shouldn't have ranted.

I just need ideas. Please help.

And if you want to ignore all of whatever that was, go ahead. I'm not asking for pity or comfort. I just wanted to get it out. I guess. I feel no better but eh... that's showbiz...

Also, I know you all care, but you're so far, and my heart... why does it hurt? I need a friend. Or more than a friend. I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Take care
Xx