Sanders Sides OneShots

Battles (Logince)

Unedited - please point out any errors!

Inspired by the song^

This took a complete U-turn to how I expected it to go... I do have an alternate ending for it, but I don't think that's going to show up...

T.W. Self-harm, abuse, bullying, homophobia, mentions of wanting to die.
I think that's it...

Roman sighed, another day, of hell, of bullies, of life that wasn't worth living. He swung his legs over the side of his bed, and trudged to the bathroom, he looked at his hollow cheeks that no one saw, he saw his hair, and how "perfect" it was, yet it never cooperated. He saw his dull eyes, that everyone claimed were so bright and full of life. He was anything but perfect, his body was too thin, and no one saw, his eyes screamed for help, yet no one saw, no one knew. No one noticed how hurt he was, or how much he needed help. He was constantly in the spotlight, and they still saw him as perfect, so why couldn't he see himself that way, why couldn't he see he was worth it, and why couldn't he be happy? Why did he put up a mask? Why did he care what they thought, he wanted their help, yet he never asked, and hid away, why? He didn't know, he just kept doing it, he kept hiding himself, and he kept making them believe he was the way he was, that his act was him. He wasn't popular, not by any means, yet everyone noticed him, the gay, happy kid, one that didn't care what was thought of him, yet he did care, greatly, but he wouldn't let them know. They didn't know how deep their words hit him, they didn't know what he did to himself when they weren't around, what he dealt with at home. They didn't know who he was, heck, his best friend didn't know who he was, not really. His best friend thought he was happy, and bouncy, and dramatic, courageous, and regal. He wasn't. Not by any means. He was sad, in a slump, depressed, weak, and introverted. He wasn't what everyone thought of him.

A ding on his phone pulled him back to reality, and he looked to see a message from his friend. He let a small smile show on his lips, no matter his current state of mind, one text, one word, one friend was able to make him smile, even when he felt like crying. He picked up his phone, temporarily forgetting about his reflection taunting him, and read the text. "Ro, where are you? You're normally outside by now." He smiled a small smile, and sent a response, explaining that he'd be down shortly. He took one last glance in the mirror and headed down to his front door, ignoring his mother's protests for him to eat.

Once he made it outside, he took a deep breath, and plastered on his fake smile, and walked with Patton to school. He ignored a few of the snide comments from other students that weren't too thrilled with his sexuality. He and Patton walked to their lockers, and collected their school supplies, and went to their first period, where they were met with two new faces.

"Roman, Patton, just the two I wanted to see." Their teacher spoke. "This is Logan, and Virgil, they are new students from another state, I was hoping you two would be able to show them around, and help them out for a while, and possibly make friends with them."

"Of Course!" Patton grinned, subtly looking Virgil up and down. Roman agreed with Patton, kept up his fake smile, and sat with the other three males. They sat and talked for a while, until the bell signaling the start of the school day rang. Before turning around Virgil slid Roman a note, and he read it, his eyes widening slightly. "What's wrong? Don't say nothing, I know a fake smile anywhere. Trust me, I've worn one too." He sighed, and contemplated replying. He sent a small note back, saying he was going through a rough patch, and he was sure, by the small sigh that escaped Virgil's lips, that Virgil didn't believe him, yet he didn't push it any further.

-

Lunch soon rolled around, and Roman sighed, he was happy to be out of a classroom, yet he didn't want to sit with his friends, but if he didn't, they'd worry about him, and so he took his time packing his bag, and he made his way to the tree that he and Patton sat under, where Logan and Virgil would be with them. He stood a short distance away, watching how the three of them were happy, and laughing, even Virgil, who never seemed to want to speak to anyone, nor smile around anyone, they were happy, without him. They didn't need him. He shook his head, trying to remove the negative thoughts, and he walked over, sitting himself next to Patton and Logan, yet he said nothing.