Me: CelestialWhite I hope this is good.
Me: WILLIAM MA BOI GET OVER HERE!
William: What.
Me: TRACY MA GIRL GET OVER HERE!
Tracy: Oh, what do you want, Hyla?
Me: I'm gonna forgive you for that. You see this breadstick?
William: Yeah...?
Me: Take one end each with your mouths.
Tracy: 'Kay?
Me: Now keep eating 'till you kiss.
Tracy and William: *does as told*
Me: You guys are surprisingly subordinate.
William: Yeah, that's 'cuz we've been together for a while now.
Me: wAiT WhAt?!
Tracy: Mm hm, we stole your phone and read a William x Tracy fanfic. It actually made a lot of sense, and the thing is we didn't even know we had crushes on each other and the story made us realize that.
Me: I'M NOT EVEN GONNA KILL YOU FOR STEALING MY PHONE I'M JUST HAPPY YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER! NOW WHEN ARE YOU TWO GONNA GET MARRIED SO THAT I CAN SAY MAZEL TOV?!
William: ...We legit started dating two months ago.
Me: Ah, sorry... Guess I got too excited...
William: Yeah, guess you did...
Tracy: William! Don't be rude to Hyla!
William: I was genuine! That had no spite whatsoever!
Tracy: *raises eyebrow*
William: I swear!
Me: Trace, it's fine. He is genuine.
Tracy: Oh, okay.
Me: Wow, this chapter is short. Ooh, I know what I could to make it longer! FREDDY GET OVER HERE!
Freddy: What do you want, Host-chan?
Me: *straps Freddy to chair*
Freddy: Um...?
Me: Wait, no. I'm supposed to torture you away from the viewers, not in front of them. Sorry.
Me: *releases Freddy*
Freddy: Torture me?
Me: Regards of my stepfather. He hates you, man.
Freddy: Leo is your stepfather?!
Me: Hell naw man! Having him as my stepfather would mean I never got to grow up Kreacher! And plus, did you think Leo had time and effort to look after another child after he already sent one to my brother's orphanage?
Freddy: Oh, right. So, who is your stepfather?
Me: Oh, the old host.
Freddy: Who you killed?
Me: Yup! He gave me the powers of 'Host', and asked me to kill him because he needed a vaca and said he never visited hell and always wanted to, so... yeah. Also, unbeknownst to him, once I started writing this book, I gained even more powerful 'Host' powers than he ever got, so yay me!
Freddy: How did he even end up being your stepfather anyway?
Me: Adoption after kidnapping.
Freddy: I'm not even gonna ask.
Me: Yeah, you shouldn't. I wouldn't ever answer that question unless someone dared me, which I really hope won't happen.
Freddy: *stares at viewers and winks*
Me: Freddy...
Freddy: Go ahead and kill me again.
Me: Nope, making you kiss Kreacher.
Freddy: HELL NO!
Me: *summons Kreacher*
Kreacher: *shirtless*
Kreacher: Hyla, what do you want? I need my turn in the shower!
Me: Oof, feel bad for you broski. Freddy pissed me off so now you're a victim too.
Kreacher: Glasses pissed you off and I'm a victim. Wow.
Me: YOU PISS ME OFF A LOT TOO!
Me: *est triggered*
Me: *pushes Kreacher and Freddy's heads together making them kiss on the lips*
Me: *proud of myself*
Me: Wait a sec, are they-
Tracy: Oh my-
William: *dashes away*
Tracy: *takes out robot and gets herself carried away*
Me: OI! LOVEBIRDS!
Freddy and Kreacher: *breaks kiss*
Kreacher: Hm?
Me: ...You two owe me big time for getting you two together.
Me: *breaches away*
Freddy: Um...
Freddy: *blushes*
Kreacher: *blushes*
Aesop: *about to walk in*
Me: *breaches back in*
Me: *drags Aesop back with me to manor garden through breach and sees Emma*
Me: GOOD NEWS EMMA! KREACHER DOESN'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!
Emma: Okay...? I guess that's a relief.
Me: BUT in trade for that now we'll have to suffer googly eyes between Freddy and Kreacher. Hooray for unfair trades...
Aesop: Wait what-
Me: I caused this and now I feel bad but MAN I SHIP IT!
Aesop: Hyla, what did you do-
Me: Nothing of major importance. Also Aesop, Joseph told me to tell you he doesn't like you anymore.
Aesop: It was only supposed to be a one time thing anyway...
Me: Aesop Carl, did you agree to a one night stand?
Aesop: Uh, sorta...
Me: *takes out knife*
Me: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE REAL AESOP?!
Aesop: Hyla, it's still me.
Me: Okay, only Aesop can be so calm after being pointed at with a knife. But having a one night stand don't seem like you.
Aesop: Joseph forced me into it.
Me: ...Aesop, that is called rape. After that, you tell me so I can kill Joseph.
Aesop: Ah, okay.
Me: *teleports in front of Joseph and murders him*
Me: *teleports back*
Me: That's it for now, peeps! Toodles!
YOU ARE READING
Identity V On Crack (COMPLETED)
FanfictionAsk or dare any character from Identity V! See the dark sides of the characters! See them get tortured in more ways than one! Everything is organized by yours truly, the daughter of the Host and the temporary host of the manor. My father needed a lo...
