Me: Freddy, guess you were right. No one in their right mind would read this book...
Emily: Sweetheart, you need to stop being so negative. It's not good for you. And plus, it's only been one night for you!
Me: I'm anything but sweet right now. I'm upset and thinking over about my life choices regarding Wattpad. This book is probably gonna hit the record of being the deleted fastest in my list of failed books. Plus, I'm publishing this in preparation for no one reading this, so that's applicable!
Emma: Don't be like that! I'm sure someone will read this book!
Me: Like who?
Emma: Like, like...
Me: I KNEW IT!!!
Me: *goes to cry in my room in the manor*
???: *knocks on the door of my room*
Me: WHAT?!?! I'M BUSY... FEELING BAD FOR MYSELF!
???: Just open up, will you?
Me: *recognizes voice*
Me: KREACHER I DON'T CARE IF EMMA SENT YOU HERE I AM NOT COMING OUT UNTIL I HAVE HAD MY FILL OF TEARS!
Kreacher: I SAID OPEN UP!
Kreacher: *furiously bangs on door*
Me: *opens door, punches him, closes door and faceplants myself on to my bed*
A few hours later...
Me: *walks out*
Vera: Look who decided to come back out.
Me: Shut your face before I chase you out of existence you rich high-class snooty bitch.
Vera: ...
Kurt: When did you start cursing?
Me: Ever since this book...
Servais: Well, you decided to make this book!
Me: Shut your face before I make you and Kurt kiss.
Margaretha: What is up with your "shut your face before I"s today?
Me: Shut your face before I break your leg, which I know is so precious for you since you're a dancer, so watch your mouth.
Kevin: Question, where are the hunters?
William: Yeah, where are they?
Me: Oh, I keep them in a separate room in the manor to make sure that no one gets into any trouble, but mostly to keep Leo from killing Freddy.
Freddy: Aw, You care about me?
Me: Of course I do! We all do! What would we do without our torture subject?
Freddy: Wait. What?
Me: Face it Freddy, no one likes you.
Freddy: -_-
Me: Why can't any of you be more like Aesop? He's more quiet and more mature than any of you.
Aesop: *looks up from his suitcase upon hearing his name, looks at Host-chan, then looks back down and continues refining his tools*
Me: See?
Naib: Well, we can't all become him.
Me: Actually, I can turn you all into Aesop, but then I respect him too much so that won't happen. And Naib, shut your face before I make you relive your entire battle life.
Naib: o_O
Naib Fans: DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY PRECIOUS SMOL BEAN-
Me: OH SHUT IT! What is up with people's obsessions with Naib?! Oh great, this has just become my vent/rant book and since no one's gonna read this. I can just write out to my heart's content about my complaints of life. That is, until someone actually comments an ask or a dare.
Survivors(Not Aesop): SOMEONE PLEASE COMMENT SOMETHING WE NEED YOU TO STOP HYLA-
Me: Shut it! I'm supposed to be referenced as 'The Host', 'Me', 'Her', or 'She'! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MAY YOU USE MY REAL NAME!
Survivors(Not Aesop): SOMEONE DO SOMETHING SHE'LL TORTURE US UNTIL SHE HAS SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT GET HELP PLEASE-
Me: That's enough.
Me: *snaps fingers and all survivors return to their rooms*
Me: Well, that's it for now. Way to go for all this time to be wasted since no one's gonna read this anyway. But I guess I still have my hopes... It'd be great if someone commented down an ask or a dare. Or at least read this book.
Check out the squad!
Mercenary - Artist-Fantasy
Gardener - luminescentie
The Mind's Eye - BlueBucketHat
Coordinator - MarthaBehamfil
Doctor - __poppyseed__
Thief - Yours Truly
Lawyer - FreddyRiley
Magician - N/A
Explorer - KurutoFuranku
Mechanic - TZYzOeY/nizons
Forward - _AwkwardLoser_
Lucky Guy - starsglory
Perfumer - -Lxinesiia
Dancer - 1ChainedToTheRythm1
Seer - Echojustice
Priestess - ImaNoobUwU
Cowboy - IdentityVYeet
Embalmer - axnons
Hell Ember - N/A
Smiley Face - Siniora-Chan
The Ripper - Achinubis
Gamekeeper - N/A
Soul Weaver - PichetPlykum
Geisha - Lollipop11213345
Wu Chang (Black) - Chocofunduk/JaeAndLex(Lex)
Wu Chang (White) - JaeAndLex(Jae)
Photographer - __chovv__
The Feaster - N/A
YOU ARE READING
Identity V On Crack (COMPLETED)
Hayran KurguAsk or dare any character from Identity V! See the dark sides of the characters! See them get tortured in more ways than one! Everything is organized by yours truly, the daughter of the Host and the temporary host of the manor. My father needed a lo...
