Me: ...Okay. Game participants, assemble!
William: Could you not have created a more creative name?
Me: BOI I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOOD WITH NAMES OKAY?!?!?!?!?
William: o_O
Me: Anyway, this ask is for all of you.
Emma: Well, what is it?
Me: CelestialWhite wants to know if you guys ever cooked and ate the Feaster's tentacles during a match.
Me: But first, welcome to the Oletus Manor, Celestial!
Celestial: Hi!
Emily: No, it's not possible for us. First off, the tentacles are really slimy and most probably unhygienic, which doesn't exactly make them uneatable but we would need to thoroughly cleanse them first. Secondly, we don't have a heating source in-game unless you count Martha's flare gun which we need to distract the hunter.
Freddy: But we do ea-
Kreacher: *slaps Freddy*
Kreacher: HE SAID NOTHING!
Me: What was Freddy about to say?
Lucky: H-he didn't say anything.
Me: *eyes glow red and gives evil smile*
Survivors(bar Aesop): o_O
Kreacher: HE WAS GONNA SAY THAT WE CLEAN COOK AND EAT HASTUR'S TENTACLES JUST NOT DURING THE MATCHES!
Me: Wait, you guys actually eat the tentacles?
Naib: Yeah, sometimes when we have a match with the Feaster, we dismantle tentacles and keep a few parts to cook as lunch or dinner.
Celestial: Yikes. Do they taste good?
Lucky: Oh yeah, they taste good.
Me: NO ONE ASKED YOU NAIB! But thank you for answering my question.
Me: *gives innocent smile*
Survivors(bar Aesop): *creeped out*
Me: Wait a sec. Aesop, do you eat the tentacles?
Aesop: *looks up from his book*
Aesop: *shakes his head*
Aesop: *continues to read said book*
Me: Oh thank Savitar.
Margaretha: Who's Savitar?
Me: FLASH REFERENCE YOU WON'T GET IT OKAY?!?!
Vera: Ugh, you don't need to make a Flash reference in an Identity V book, do you? And calm down, we don't need you to turn into a ball of fury again, geez.
Me: You don't want references? I'll do more to annoy you!
Me: *triggered*
Me: Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Vera: Huh?
Me: You're supposed to say 'Nani?!'.
Vera: I won't play your games with you!
Me: *uses host powers*
Me: Let's try again. Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Vera: Nani?!
Me: *snaps fingers*
Vera: *fades away like confetti*
Me: Three references on one person, I'm proud of myself.
Kurt: How did this chapter turn from Hastur's tentacles to Host-chan making Vera disappear like confetti?
Me: Do you really want me to copy and paste this entire chapter for you to study? It is considerably shorter than the others and I'm sure none of us want that, but-
Servais: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Me: Servais... I'M PROUD OF YOU!
Me: *hugs Servais*
Fiona: Alright then...
Helena: Enough! Can we get on with the chapter?
Me: Well, the chapter is about to end. But then again, I do have a question for Joseph...
Me: *summons hunters*
Hunters: *pops out of nowhere*
Me: Hey Joseph, I wanna ask you something.
Joseph: Yes, what is it?
Me: Why are you so short?
Joseph: *triggered*
Me: I mean, you are taller than the survivors, and you are taller than Violetta which is obvious because she's a gigantic spider. You're also a little taller than Leo and Smiley. But, why are you nothing compared to Jack and Wu Chang?
Joseph: *starts crying*
Me: Oh geez, uh, *tries to make Joseph feel better*
Me: *failing*
Black: Well, I'll take the job of ending host today. Goodbye my dear viewers! And remember to write down you asks and dares!
A/N:
Savitar is the God of Speed in the Flash. You know how pokemon fans say 'Oh my Arceus' because Arceus is the God pokemon? So... I say 'Oh my Savitar'. Yeah.
YOU ARE READING
Identity V On Crack (COMPLETED)
FanfictionAsk or dare any character from Identity V! See the dark sides of the characters! See them get tortured in more ways than one! Everything is organized by yours truly, the daughter of the Host and the temporary host of the manor. My father needed a lo...
