Calm Down Tiger

18: You are Not Like This!!!

Captain's POV

Saturday and Sunday came so quickly that the only thing that I can remember during weekend was talking with my family and discussing about the upcoming Songkran this year. Also, Nong Heemi and P'Gun kept on talking about Skam because for some reason, P'Gun let P'Plan watch it over the weekend. Now I don't want to hang out in the rehearsal room hearing both of them talking about it. I love the series but I can't help but think about my discussion with Nong Heemi and P'Gun about P'White.

So today—another Monday morning, I decided to have a serious conversation with Ai'Toptap, "So in short—you think that you are taking P'White's feelings for you for granted?" he asked me with confusion written all over his face. I nod, "Chai Ai', if you will think about it na khrab—P' keeps on showing his affections to me and is not afraid to tell people na Ai' how much he loves me. When he told me about his decision to stay away from me na khrab, I was so upset so I stopped him right away but I am still uncertain about my feeling for P'." My worry is that P' will get tired of following and loving me.

Ai'Toptap nods his head, "Khrab, I can see now. P' is very consistent with you na Ai' so maybe you felt confident that he will not leave you or get tired of you—then suddenly P'Gun and Nong Heemi made you realized that P'White will not be there for you forever if you won't figure out your feelings." Ai'Toptap hits the bulls eye.

I sigh heavily, "What should I do na Ai'? How will I know if I love a person na khrab or not?" he has a boyfriend—he can answer this questions, right? But Ai' shakes his head, "I don't know too Ai'," "Then—how did you know that you are in love na khrab with Ai'Gunsmile?" they've been dating since our first year in the university. All I know is that Ai' were high school classmates with Ai'Sing and then before the start of university, Ai'Gunsmile started courting Ai'My friend.

Ai'Toptap pulled his chair closer to mine. We are here in our classroom and surprisingly our professors are not here today. Our next class will be in the afternoon, "Well—I told you before that Gunsmile is my classmate before na khrab—so I knew him long enough. As a matter of fact, I think I fell for him earlier than he realized that he is in love with me khrab. I can still remember the feeling of always looking at him and laughing at his corny jokes and finding him attractive even when he is talking nonsense and loudly already. Even Ai'Sing is amazed on how we ended up together. The thing Ai'Cap, you don't need to have a formula or hypothesis in order to find out your feelings to someone na khrab. You will feel it—believe me Ai', suddenly you will feel like 'Shiya! I am in love with this person!' you just need to be brave to face your feelings Ai'." I nod even though I am still uncertain.

He sighs, "Aw Ai'Cap—stop thinking about it na khrab and focus more on P'White. If you think that he is being used by you then do something for him in return. You are smart Ai', you can think of something. I think—even treating him lunch or even nom yen will make him happy na woie~"Ai' is right, small things can do big difference. I smile because somehow talking to Ai'Toptap makes me feels better.

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I didn't tell P'White that I will go to his college building today to surprise him a little bit. Base on Ai'Toptap, small surprises are easily appreciated. But before I even go to his college, I need to go to P'Gun's classroom first. It's not that far actually from my classroom. "P'Title~" I called out P' who looks like in a hurry. His classroom is right next to P'Gun's. "Did you see my P'?" I asked him but he just points his finger to the classroom, "O—kay, P'." He cannot find his voice again. P' is such a weird creature.