Calm Down Tiger

72: Fan Dee Na Khrab

Captain's POV

I look at the clock above the TV and it indicated that it's already quarter to 3 am and I am still wide awake. I keep on moving to different sides of my bed and I am a bit worried that P'Gun will wake up because we decided to move our beds beside each other. Since Ai'Kris slept over, P'Gun complained that we keep on moving our beds again and again so we decided to keep it this way.

I sigh again and move to the other side facing P'Gun but I almost jump off my bed when I saw P'Gun looking at me with tired eyes, "Seriously—Ai'Cap," he said half awake. I look at him apologetically, "Sorry na khrab, P'Gun," I said because I know I will be the cause of his sleepless night too. His eyes are half closing and half opening and he keeps on drifting to sleep then opening them, "P', you can sleep now~" I said softly because there's something that I only know that other people don't know about my P'Gun.

He shook his head, "What's wrong na khrab?" he asked me with his unusual serious tone. The secret is—when P'Gun is half awake—that's the time that P'Gun is rational. Meaning, if you talk to him now—it will be a whole new different world of P'Gun that you will discover. I sigh again and move a bit closer to him, his eyes are still half open, "P'—what should I do na khrab," I started and he sigh too, "About what? You need to tell me first na khrab the problem," he mumbled and I know he is close to sleeping again—or not. This part of P'Gun is still a mystery to me.

"You see—P'—I think—I am being paranoid na khrab," I said honestly because it's P'Gun. People will always look lowly at my P' because of how he views the world and how he talks but I always look up at P'Gun, "When White and I started dating na khrab—I am very aware that many people like him because he is smart na khrab—and has good personality—and very sweet," P'Gun opens his eyes again and nod again and again, "Maybe too sweet na khrab. He sometimes makes me wonder na Ai' if he spit words coming straight from pantip na khrab~" see, P'Gun catches up pretty fast when he is half awake.

[pantip – it's like a website where you can post questions and stories anonymously. It's very famous in Thailand.]

I shook my head again, "Yes na khrab P' but that part of him makes me love him more na khrab, but P'—I am not the only one that can see that part of him na khrab. People are also recognizing White na khrab and I don't like the feeling I have in my chest when I feel—" "Jealous?" and P'Gun finished my statement. I nod my head even though P' and I are just both lying on our beds and just looking at each other, "I don't know na khrab P'. Sometime I wonder if it's still me." I confessed feeling down that I cannot figure out what's happening to me.

P'Gun tried his best to open his eyes, "You are you na khrab Ai'Cap. You are my brother na khrab that will do everything for his brothers. You don't need to change yourself or to even feel frustrated na khrab—" his eyes flutter open then closes it after some seconds, "Ai'White loves you and I don't think I need to remind you how much he does Ai'Cap. Now, you also need to embrace na khrab your imperfections—and besides—" then he opens them again, "Being jealous na khrab isn't bad—knowing Ai'White, he might be over the rainbow already when he finds out that Ai'Captain is jealous of those people na khrab who are looking at him these days," somehow this super early morning conversation is making me feel better.

I smile and suddenly put my hand on P'Gun's head, "Thank you na khrab P'Gun. I hate it when someone is taking advantage of you na khrab because you are a bit oblivious na khrab. I hope—you are this rational when you are conscious na khrab P'." I said while patting his head again and again. P'Gun's eyes are slowly closing, "Ai'Cap, your P'Gun will try not to be oblivious na khrab—or maybe—I just need to face my feelings too na khrab—and stop being confused with—P'~" but before P'Gun even finish what he is saying, he is already in dream land. Part of me is glad that he didn't say anything that will be a spoiler of his future because I want P'Gun—the real P'Gun—my slow witted P'Gun to realized how he feels and be brave enough to face it.