Calm Down Tiger

52: Let Go of Me

White's POV

"Captain—you cannot shut yourself to the world forever and you cannot do this to me. Do you think I wasn't affected about this?" I asked the person in front of me that shill not talking since I arrived here in his house. "I want to show your P' that I am good for you and that I can fight for you but I cannot be the only one fighting Cap. Are you—regretting being with me now?" and I know I am not ready to hear his answer.

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Flashback

I might be lying if I say that everything is okay and I wasn't a bit affected on what happened yesterday. We were caught twice and goddamn it I tried to maintain a good image to show his brother that I am unlike other men but it got ruined again and this time—it's messier than the first time.

After P'Hyuk talked to us, I talked to Cap's parents and formally introduced myself. Captain didn't say anything, instead he sobbed harder on his Mae's embrace. I do the talking because I don't think my boyfriend will be ready to say anything.

In the end, his parents accepted me but they let me swore to never force Captain into something that he isn't ready or isn't happy about. I shouldn't make him sad or cry because all they want is to make Cap happy—and also for their other sons too. But what hurts me? Cap didn't talk to me after that. I messaged him—I desperately message him all night until 4am. Messaged him and called him but he didn't answer or view even one of my messages. I lost track how many times I did that for him—40? 50?—or maybe more than a hundred because I want him to know that I am here for me—but he shuts me down.

So right now, I am standing in front of their front down and his Pa opened the door for me, "Loong khrab sawadee khrab~" of course I make sure to wai at my boyfriend's father before even asking him, "Is Captain in the house na khrab?" Loong smiles at me, "He is Ai'White. Come in na khrab," he opens the door wider for me to enter and I also saw Bpaa going out of the kitchen, "Oh, Ai'White," she called me and I wai again, "Sawadee khrab Bpaa," I said and still never forget my manner.

[long -- uncle]

[bpaa -- aunt]

"Sawadee kah, are you hear to see Ai'Cap?" Bpaa asked me and I smile first before nodding my head, "I see na kah, you can go upstairs na kah and wake Ai'Cap. His P'Gun was long gone out. Tell him to eat already na kah," Bpaa said before going back in the kitchen again. I didn't really walk because I am afraid that Loong khrab will say something but he just sit down on the couch and read his newspaper, "Ahm—I'll go wake Cap na khrab Loong khrab," I said awkwardly but still wait for the go signal, "Okay na khrab, tell him stop sleeping too much, he will have headache," so there goes my go signal before walking, "khrab," but I didn't forget to answer.

I've been in Ai'Gun and Cap's room long before we even started dating. I slowly climb upstairs because I want to formulate the words that I want to say to Captain. I want to pour out my gratefulness and also complain about our relationship.