Calm Down Tiger

125: Voiceless and Powerless

White's POV

My palms are very sweaty now and I can feel cold sweat running down on my forehead.

I've never been this nervous—not even when I confessed to Captain for the first time.

"If you will just stay quiet na khrab, then I'll just go home!" his firm voice echoes inside the house and on the corner I saw both P'Mark and Ai'Gun who are sitting on the sofa to glance at us.

I gulp—loudly, "I am—not—I just—don't know what to say," I admitted.

For the past few days that I've been here at P'Mark's apartment, I've been trying to come up to what I want to say to Captain once we've seen each other...and now—I am sitting in front of him, facing him—the words aren't coming out and my head feels empty.

The ferocious, fierce Captain that I've met before is back. His eyes are so sharp. His face is stone cold, and his lips are forming a fine thin line.

He makes a clicking sound before putting his hands on the table, "Look—if you don't know what to say—then think of it again and I'll just come back when you are ready," he is mad—he is very mad.

I shook my head, "I've tried but—" "Then try harder!" he suddenly hit the table making us all jump a bit on our sits.

"Cap—please—let me explain na khrab~" I tried begging for his mercy. As much as he loves me, Captain is a stubborn guy.

He frowns, "Listen? I've been waiting na khrab for you to contact me and tell me what was happening because you do know that I will listen to you and will try to understand you na khrab but what? My P' got into trouble yesterday because of us—do you understand it White? P'Gun got into our mess and you—I don't know where on earth you were that time!

P'Mark told me that P'Mean and him helped you escaped but—damn White! You can contact P'Mean secretly but not me? Not your boyfriend? How dare you!"

My shoulders hang low instantly while listening to his ranting. I know he is right—how on earth can I make an excuse for that?

I instantly messaged Ai'Mean to asked help but didn't think of messaging Captain.

"I am—sorry—na khrab," I said slowly.

I admit, I am wrong this time, "P'Mark explained to me about—Ai'Gun and—I feel bad—of course I feel bad na khrab because—" I look straight into his unreadable eyes, "I know how important Ai'Gun to you—and also feel ashamed to P'Mark because I know how much he wanted to protect both Ai'Gun and you—but Cap—I tried to make my parents think that they can trust in me na khrab and in my decisions and be a good son to them—" but I guess being a good son isn't enough for my parents.

I bit my inner cheeks when I cannot find the next words to say anymore, "White—" his tone changes, "you know that I will trust you na khrab—right?"