It Has Always Been You (COMPLETED)

Chapter 63- Four Bloody Lines

BRITTANY'S POV

I hear a loud knock on the door like the person on the other side was in a panic. It was sketchy.

"Who is it?" I yell through the door, resting my hand lightly on the door nob.

"Cam"

I open it to see him looking more stressed than I've ever seen him before in my life. He also had a sign of terror in his eyes. It was strange and made me feel uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?!" I ask as quickly as possible.

He guides me back into my room taking a seat on the end of Mahogany's bed, who is at breakfast right now. He grabs my hand gently and leads me to sit next to him.

"Selena told me about you and what you've been like lately."

I become silent not knowing if he means that he knows I'm suicidal, or what happened between Chad and I. Either way, the discussion is not wanted.

"You're talking about what exactly?" I manage to come out with.

"You thinking that you want to end your time on this Earth."

Damn it...

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is. Please open up to me. Just because we're not dating, I don't see why you can't tell me why you're feeling this way. I need to help."

"Why? So you can judge me for something else?"

"No, because I love you. Because I will never ever see the day that you leave me. Leave me for real. I won't let it."

"You don't understand." I begin to become emotional.

"Yes I do! I had severe depression when I was in high school. And still am fighting it a little."

I stay silent not believing it. Cameron? Depressed? How? He is amazingly hot, has talent, has an incredible personality. There's nothing depressing about it at all. His life is perfect.

"I had zero friends when I came into my freshman year of high school. Literally zero. I was made fun of when I tried to join conversations and attempt to make friends just because they thought that it was weird that I liked to act in the school plays and talent shows. As you know, acting is a big part of my life. I began to cut. First wrists, then back of my hands, then my thigh, then my ankle. Basically anywhere where veins were visible. I stopped when I finally made a friend. My best friend. His name is Chris. He was the most amazingly nice person I've ever met. Chris left in the middle of senior year to go on a mission trip with his church to Peru to build homes. I had to finish the rest of the year out, only being able to be friends with people from Vine. Nash was the first one who contacted me. We met and became instant best friends. It brought me completely out of my depression. And if it wasn't for Nash, I would be dead right now. I was going to swallow pills the night Nash messaged me. So there.... there's my story. Now please tell me yours." he says now in tears.

I respected him a thousand times more for being man enough to cry in front of me.

"I'm stressed. I'm confused. I'm just scared."

"I'm sorry."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's all my fault..."

"A little. Not much though. I can never decide what my true feelings are. I jump into something and completely ignore the right choice, then I always end up regretting it. I'm sick of feeling like I'm the problem in everyone's life. I'm the reason for you crying. I'm the reason for us breaking up. And I'm the reason for my own depression. Things would've been better if you would've just stayed with Madison." I now was in tears so we were crying softly together. Me more than him, of course.

"That's far from the truth. If I'm not with you, I can never find a way to truly smile. There's no happiness in my life without you."

I become quiet because we just got done discussing how he is stressing me out by pressuring me with kind words constantly. I makes me more and more confused.

"...Oh sorry... I'm doing it again. But hear me out, how else can I convince you that I love you still? That I need you back in my life more than anything in order for it to be complete?"

"Cameron, I love Chad..."

"No... no you don't. We all know you don't."

"Yes I do!" I begin to yell at him.

"No you don't! Stop trying to hide your real feelings behind that alibi!" he yells back.

"DON'T TELL ME MY FUCKING FEELINGS CAMERON!"

And with that I shove him out of the room. I begin to cry heavily and run into the bathroom and slam the door and lock it. I grab the razor from the edge of the bath tub and cut once, leaving 4 perfect, bloody lines on my wrist. The familiar feeling hurt like a son of a bitch. It took my mind off everything to concentrate on the physical pain instead of the emotional. I swore I'd never do it again, but Cameron isn't mine anymore.

I slid down the wall, on my back and fell to the floor, curled up into a ball sitting on the floor trying to dab the blood away with a tissue. It kept going. I think I hit a vain. I normally wouldn't care but this time I was losing a lot of blood.

. . .

It's been 20 minutes of sitting on this floor trying to stop the blood. It still was gushing getting all over my tank top and white pajama shorts. It looks as if I was just shot. I tried yelling for help but no one is coming. I began to panic. I begin to become really dizzy. I try and reach for my phone that's on the edge of the sink but it was too late. Everything became black.

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Cliffhangers tho....😎

And if anyone needs someone to talk to, DM me. I'll always be open ears and help you as much as I can. Or if you just need someone to listen.