I am fighting against the tears when i'm in the bathroom at work, I just arrived here and i don't want to break down in tears but it's hard. I just miss Corbs so much, I am so scared that i'm gonna lose him. I just can't lose him! If he's not here why should i be living then? I do everything for him! He's my world and without him i am a total wreck. I take a deep breath and i try to calm myself down, think about nice things. I keep telling myself but about what should i think?! That i am finally starting to get comfortable around a boy but then his mom starts to threaten me to stay away from him! Or should i think about school where i have so much friends? Like yeah sure i have literally none!
I shake my head to get those thoughts out of my head but it isn't working. I take another deep breath and i enter the kitchen, if i stayed in there for one more second i would be suffocated by my own thoughts. I walk to the restaurant and i start with taking orders.
When my work shift is finally over i am completely dead, I am super tired and sad. I need to work tomorrow at 8am so i can kinda sleep in. I get in my car and i rest my head on my steering wheel, I allow the tears to come after holding them in since the afternoon. I feel them sliding down my cheeks, warm and soft tears. I lift up my head again and I start the car, I need to go home right now so i can just lay in my bed and cry there. I drive away and when i finally arrive at the apartment i slowly walk up the stairs, I enter the apartment and i lock the door behind me, I slowly slide down against it and i bury my head i my hands. I feel this unbearable pain in my chest, it's hurting so bad. It feels like my heart is breaking into small pieces. I know that the doctor told me not to stop hoping, but my hope is almost gone right now. I saw Corbs in there, it's not Corbs anymore. He looks like ghost! He's incredibly pale and he just doesn't look like him anymore. I miss his jokes, i miss his scent, I miss pulling him up from the bed to help him to the kitchen, I just miss everything.
I sit there and cry for about 30 minutes, my eyes are completely dried out right now, I have no tears left. I take a deep breath, I feel refreshing, crying is always a good medicine. I get up from the floor and i walk to my bedroom, I'm not feeling hungry at all. I change into my pajamas and i get in my bed. I grab Tommy and i pull him close, I wrap my arms around his body and i lay my head on his soft chest. I am happy that Daniel gave me this huge teddy bear, it kinda comforts me in the night.
I feel how tired i am, I slowly close my eyelids and i try to think of happy things, like the beach. Then i slowly start to drift away.
I quickly open my eyes and i jump up, I had the nightmare again, it's just on repeat. The moment when i stab my dad, I shake my head, it just keeps replaying every time i close my eyes. But i NEED to sleep, I walk to my window and i look at the clear sky, there are no clouds at all. I can see all the stars. I walk to the kitchen and i grab my phone, it's 5.30 right now. I'm not going back to bed now. I walk to the coffee machine and i make a nice and hot coffee for myself. I walk back to my room and i sit down at my bed, I hold the coffee between both of my hands, I just sit down and i look at the wall.
I startle when i hear my alarm go off, I stretch my shoulders and i look at my coffee, it's completely cold right now. I forgot to drink it. I put it down on my nightstand and i get out of the bed. I feel really sore, i walk to the bathroom and i turn the shower on. I undress and i get in, i've put the temperature super high. I love taking extremely hot showers, it makes me relax a bit. When i get out i wrap myself in a towel and i walk to my room, I put on my work clothes and I walk back to the bathroom. I wipe the steam off the mirror and i look in it, I don't even see myself. I see a girl that's broken. My eyes are red and puffy from crying last night, I have huge bags under my eyes and my whole forehead is covered in pimples. I am pale and my eyes look empty. I take a deep breath and i show my fake smile, I'm not gonna fool anyone with that smile. I walk away from the mirror and I enter the kitchen, I'm not even gonna try to make myself look better. I know i'm not gonna succeed and why should i even try? It isn't gonna make me feel better or something. I make myself a new coffee and i slowly drink it, it makes me feel a bit more awake but i'm still super tired.
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What people don't know
Mystery / ThrillerThis story is about a girl names Elle Besson. You follow her while she tries to start her life over with her twin brother Corbyn Besson. During that journey she meets this guy who's really nice to her but why? Is it all a big joke or is he really ni...