Being released from Hell was hell. You thought when you were released, everything would go back to semi normal but it made your connections with Sam and Dean worse.
You would have these flashbacks from Hell that would make you turn violent, dangerous. You would lash out on anyone who tends to touch you or say something that would trigger you. Lucifer would still be in your head taunting you, leaving marks on you to make you turn this way.
You couldn't help it, but you wanted to keep yourself away from the people you love. You had powers that you couldn't control and you didn't want to use it on the people in this bunker.
At the bunker, you would keep your distance from your two brothers, Cas and Jack. You didn't want to do anything to them you might regret or even hurt them in any kind of way.
You would just keep your distance with them by just staying in your room. Your brothers, Cas and Jack just thought you needed time, not that you were afraid of hurting them.
You'd walk out of your room from time to time to either grab a beer or make a sandwich or something. You should share a couple of words with them but nothing too intense. You told them you'd come out of your room, ready to talk when you were ready. You didn't know when "ready" was honestly.
In your room, you were glancing at your damaged self in the mirror. You winced at all of your scars from previous hunts as you touched them. You had bruises all over your body from being in Hell that opened up fresh new wounds. You lifted up your shirt to reveal more cuts and bruises on your stomach. All of a sudden, you hear your stomach growling. You grumble to yourself, not really wanting to go out there but you had to.
You opened your door, revealing Sam and Dean waiting right outside your door. You jumped a little bit, releasing a little bit of your power but not enough for your brothers to see. You glanced over behind them, revealing Cas.
"Y/N, it's been a week. You can't just hide yourself in your room." Sam spoke uneasily.
"I said I'll talk when I'm ready." You shot to your brothers. You then walked past them quickly up against the wall so you wouldn't even brush against them. You didn't even shoot one look over at Cas, you just wanted out of there. You wanted to be extra careful because you didn't know how your powers would react.
You stumbled into the kitchen and decided to make yourself a pb and j. You reached up in the cabinet and grabbed the bread. You felt behind you that Sam and Dean were by the kitchen door, watching you act all normal by making a sandwich.
"Y/N, you promised us that you would say how you are feeling. You can't just bottle this up." Dean spoke to you in a little annoyance in his tone of voice.
"Just give me time, please." You winced by cutting your index pretty deep with the knife. You groaned to yourself, licking the blood off of your finger. "Great." You rush over to the sink and place your finger under the cold water. You winced again at the sting.
"Here, let me heal that for you." Cas came up behind you out of nowhere, triggering your power. You all of a sudden unleashed your power by pushing Cas against the wall. You gasped, knowing what happened you couldn't control.
"Shit." You hyperventilated, throwing yourself against the wall. "I'm sorry, I can't control this. Stay away from me, please. I don't want to hurt you." Your voice weakened everytime another word came out of your mouth.
"Y/N, it's okay. Let me help you. I can clam you down by my grace." Cas steadily walked over to you, who was very scared on what could happen next.
"Y/N, why didn't you tell us that you had this?" Sam asked in a stressed out tone.
"I didn't know how. I didn't want to hurt you guys." You answered in a wheezy voice, looking at your hands.
"Give me your hand." Cas demanded.
"Cas, no. I'm dangerous. I need to stay away." You held up your hands, having a little spark of power release from your hand. "I don't want to hurt you guys." Your voice cracked even more, having a single tear escape from you.
"I know how to get rid of it, Y/N. Give me your hand, gently." Cas held out his huge, soft hands for you to grab.
Your red, tired eyes glanced up at Cas, who immediately when you did, you felt more safe. You nodded in an uneasy way and as your wobbly hand gets to Cas, you immediately fall to the floor. Everything went black.
**
You woke up in your bed, confused and with a major headache. You sat up slowly to not trigger the headache even more but it didn't help. You saw three figures in the corner, chatting but you couldn't hear what it was about.
"Guys-" Your voice was groggy and they all ran to you as fast as they could.
"You're okay." Sam comforted you, sitting himself on your bed to calm you down.
"What happened? My powers, they're-" You stopped yourself from speaking and glanced up at Cas. "Gone." You finished, confused.
"Lucifer left some of his grace inside of you. I managed to take it out without him knowing. You're safe, Y/N." Cas explained to you.
You sighed out of relief and placed your tired head on Sams chest. "Thank you." You breathed out.
"Does that mean he can come back?" Dean asked Cas.
"He will figure out something is wrong but it'll take him awhile to. We will have a plan to take him out before he does." Cas answered.
"I just want him to leave Y/N alone. He's putting her through Hell. Literally." Dean couldn't help but chuckle at his little joke. You grabbed the pillow that was behind you and threw it at him. Dean shot you a bitch face look and you shot one back.
"Guys, come on." Sam rolled his eyes at the both of you. You and Dean were always at each other's heads about something.
"So, Lucifer is out of my body for good?" You asked Cas.
"Yes, but he can come back but you would have to be with him which we are not going to let happen." Cas told you. You nodded, getting up from your bed. You all of a sudden lose your balance from you getting up too fast but Dean catches you.
"Hey, hey there speed racer." Dean sets you back down on the bed.
"No, I need to be there when we get Lucifer." You told the boys but you knew they won't allow it. "He is my problem, not yours."
"Of course he's our problem. Anyone who messes with us is all of our problem." Sam told you as he covered you back up. Sam placed his palm on your forehead, revealing a worried look on his face.
"I think she has a fev-" Cas all of a sudden placed his hands on your head and the fever immediately goes away. You shot Cas a "thank you" look.
"I just want Lucifer gone." You shot angrily.
"He will be, soon. This will be a great victory for us. We need this." Deans tired voice spoke.
As you all were heading to bed, you just sat in your room staring at the ceiling. The day Lucifer gone from your life would be the day you would have peace in a long time.
