right now I'm layin in bed, just hopin I get through the night. I live with my dad, my mom passed when I was 3 . Reason why I said I hope I get through the night is because my dad touches me, beats me, been doing it ever since I was 7 years old. No I haven't told nobody Cause I don't need nobody in my business. when I was 13 I got pregnant, by my dad and when he found out he beat me and made me get a abortion. I hate him and I swear I hate my mom for
leaving me with him. My phone start ringin so I answered it. "Hello" I said. "You ain't real ma. You was suppose to call me. What you used me for that phone I gave you"? J said . "No i was about to call you" i said. "Its coo i was just messin witchu. But wassup?" He said. "Nothin much." I said. "Awwwwl. You need a ride to school tomorrow?" He asked. "Oh. I could walk it don't matter" i said. "Nah I got you. I'll be there around 7:45" he said. "Okay good look " I said. "It's all good." He said and then he hung up. I got tired so I drifted off to sleep. 20 minutes later I felt the bed shift and it got heavy I turned over and my dad leanin over me. "You was waitin for me" he asked and i smelled the alcohol on his breath. "No" i said startin to shake. He put his hand around my my neck and squeezed. "You know you a piece of shit just like ya mama was" he said and tears fell from my eyes. "Get off" I yelled and he squeezed tighter and I felt myself slippin it and out of consciousness. "Please" I said grabbin onto his hand. He spread my legs and pulled his pants down I squeezed my eyes tight together and he slammed into me makin me cry out. "Daddy please" I cried out and he went faster. I used my fingers and stuck my thumbs into his eyes. He yelled out and I grabbed my phone and my shoes and ran downstairs. "Paris" he yelled After me. I slipped on my shoes and my jacket then I ran out the front door trying to catch my breath. I ran to the park a few blocks from my house. I sat there for 2 hours and cried my eyes out. my phone started ringing and I looked at it and it was J. I took a deep breath and made my voice as normal as I can so he wouldn't know I was cryin. "Hello" I said. "Wassup" he said. "Why you callin me so late" I asked still breathing hard and shaking. "Don't ask me questions chump. But nah I need somebody to talk to. Just got into it with my girl" he said. "Y-y-yeah." I said. "You good?" He asked and I sighed trying not to cry. "Yeah I'm solid" I said in a raspy voice. "Where you at?" He asked. "The park" I said. "Nigga. Eastside park at 4 in the morning? Hell naw." He said. "Yep." I said. "Ima come through and get you. Wanna take you somewhere" he said. "Okay" i said. "Give me 20" he said. "Alright" i said and he hung up. I looked around and checked my surroundings. I sighed and put my head into my hands and just sat there. A couple minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped and looked up and it was J. "You straight?" He asked and I stood up and nodded. We walked to his car and I got in. I sighed and laid my head on the window. "Yo drop me off at my girls" somebody said from the backseat and I looked back and it was James, the boy I met from school. "Wassup" I said. "Sup ma" he said smirkin at me. "I got you" j said. We pulled up to this house not too far from where I live and james got out. "Ima catch yall lata" he said and he shut the door. "Sooo. Off we go" j said lookin at me. I looked at him then looked away. He nodded and drove away. I looked out the window and stared at the city if brooklyn. Hopin I get to see go somewhere bigger and better , hopin i can succeed in life because all my teachers and my dad told me I won't. 15 minutes later we pulled up to this restaraunt and J turned the car off. He got out and I got out too. I pushed my hair out of my eyed and walked behind him inside the place. He opened the door and stood there. I looked around and then looked back at him. "Why you just standin there with the door open" I said and he smacked his lips. "I'm lettin you go first slow ass" he said and I mugged him and walked in. I felt him walkin behind me. "How you doin Mrs.Betty" he said to the lady behind the counter. "I'm fine. How you doin baby" the old white lady said. "I can't complain. Can I get a table for two" he asked and she nodded. "Of course. Follow me" she said and we followed her. "Here you go sweetheart" she said and j hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you" he said. "No problem. How are you?" She said to me. "I'm good" I said and she smiled. "Wonderful. J who is this?" She asked. He looked at me then back at her. "A real good friend of mine" he said and she smiled. "Seems nice" she said and he nodded then she walked away. "So Wassup" he said and I shrugged. "Nothin" I said. "You lyin. It's somethin wrong" he said and I mugged him. "How you know?" I asked. "Cause ma. My moms always told me I had a gift Cause I could always sense when somethin wrong wit somebody. So Wassup. I'm tryna figure you out, get to know you better since you my new friend." He said and I slumped down in my seat and bit my bottom lip. My eyes welled up with tears and he sat up a little. "I ain't gone make you tell me what's wrong then run and tell erybody Cause that ain't me" he said restin his hands on the table. "I'll tell you because I feel like I can trust you." I said and he smiled. "Coo. Start talkin. Tell me about you" he said and I pushed my curly hair back out of my face. "Well I grew up here in Brooklyn. My mom passed when I was 4 so I had to move in with my dad because none of my family members wanted me. I barely knew my dad Cause when I was younger he ain't never come around unless he felt like he needed to get my mom fucked up on drugs. Around the age of 7 , my um , my dad started touchin on me. But, you know I just wanna get out of brooklyn and start over because I wanna do what everybody told me I couldn't do" I said and he shook his head and bit his lip. "And what's that" he asked. "I wanna succeed" I said and he smirked and nodded. "I see why you act the way you act. You been through alot of shit , I mean a lot. I can't tell you I understand what you goin through Cause I don't. I appreciate you opening up to me though Cause that gave me a chance to see you for you. I only knew you for 2 days. It's crazy how I can gain so much respect for a person I barely knew to a person I know so much about now. I promise Everything you told me ain't gone leave my mouth. Word to my mother." He said and I nodded. "So ya pops" he said. "What about em" i asked. "He still do that?" He asked and i stared into his eyes and nodded. His eyes turned black and it scared me. "Aight" he said. The lady came Back to the table. "What would you like?" She asked me . "Um I don't know" I said and she smiled. "I know exactly what to make you. Jawan would you like this same?" She asked."you know it." He said and she nodded. "And for a drink" she asked. "Water" i said and she nodded. "Im good mrs.betty" j said and she nodded. "Ill be right back" she said. His phone vibrated and he answered it. "Shoot" he said. "Na. Cant do it right now. Im busy man" i heard him say. "Alright i need you to handle somethin for me too" he said then he hung up. he sat his phone down and it rung again. "I hope you not callin to argue cause i aint for it right now" he said into the phone. He tightened his jaws then hung up. "Here's your drink" she said. "Thank you" I said then I looked at j while drinking from my water. "Girlfriend? " I asked and he nodded. "Yup" he said while sighing. "You said you needed to talk to me so talk" i said. "Its all good. I ont wanna drown you in my problems" he said and i nodded. I swirled my straw around in my water and i felt him starin at me. "WHat" I said and he rubbed his hand over his face. "You a strong person. Don't let nobody break you Paris." He said and I smirked and nodded. She came back with our food, we ate and then we got up. "It was nice meeting you" I said huggin the lady. "Oh you too dear. J will have to bring you back" she said and I smiled. "I'll be back later Mrs.Betty. thanks" he said and he pulled a stack out his pocket and handed it to her. "I ain't forget. Happy birthday" he said and she smiled. "Thank you so much. Tell your father and your mother i said hello" she said and he nodded and kissed her forehead. he opened the door and stood there makin me smack my lips. "Yo. Don't do this all the time." I said. "I'm suppose to" he said and write walked to the car. We both got in and he drove off. "You not goin back there." He said catchin me off guard. "I ain't got no other place to go" I said. "I got you" he said. "I promise" he said holding out his hand, I sighed and shook it. "This finna be a long ride so you might wanna take. Nap ma" he said. "I'm good" I said and he smirked. "Keeper" he mumbled like I couldn't hear him. he turned on the radio and lotus flower bomb by wale played. I sung a long to it and he looked at me. "This ya song?" He asked and I nodded. "I see" he said and I smirked and looked back out the window. "Aight I'm finna speed across this bridge" he said. It was only us out here, no other cars. He stopped before we made it to the bridge. "Yo its hella water under here" I said. "I know" he said and he startes the car back up and leaned back. He pushed hard on the gas and the car flew down the bridge. "Yo is you dumb?" I asked and he shook his head no. "Not that i know of" he said while laughin. I laughed and shook my head. his phone start ringin and he looked at it. "Answer it" I said and he looked at me. "Nah." He said. "What'd she do?" I asked. He shook his head and shrugged. I nodded and stayed quiet. 2 hours later we pulled up to this big house. I never seen a house like this before. ",you amazed?" He asked. "Its aight" I lied. shit was dope. He laughed and got out . I got out and followed him in the house. "So when are we goin to the house Ima be stayin in?" I asked. "This it" he said and I froze. "Dont" i said. "Don't what?" He asked. "Lie" I said. "I ain't" he said. "I don't deserve this" I said. "You deserve it all. Believe me. Make yo self at home" he said. "And clothes. I'll get you clothes" he said. "You can drive?" He asked. "Yeah" I said. "All my keys right there" he said and my eyes welled up with tears. "Yo dont get all soft on the kid." He said and i nodded. "Its food here all that." He said. "You know we gone be late for school" i said. "Nah i called mrs.jackson and told her we went on a trip , got some money for er. We solid" he said. "Ima stay witchu" he said. "What you do" I asked. "Whatchu think" he asked . "Nah I slang. What you into wanna be my friend nomore" he asked. "Never said that" I said. "Coo " he said smirkin at me then walkin into the living room. I nodded and walked upstairs. I walked into the all white room and fell in love. I sighed and dropped down on the bed and closing my eyes.
