You're My Forever

'Meaningless' Relationship | 57

The Next Day... 

I woke up sweating and with tears all over my face this morning. I had another nightmare again. And it was about Jack again too.

In the dream, we were having a date night. So I got dressed nicely then went over to his house and rang the doorbell. Jack opened the door. But he looked disappointed. And then he told me the worst possible thing I could hear. He told me he was breaking up with me. I immediately started crying while asking him why and what I did wrong. He bluntly told me he lost all his romantic feelings for me. Then he said that I should've saw this coming since the relationship never meant much to him in the first place. I begged and begged him for a second chance while sobbing but the dream ended with him shutting the door on me.

Even when I woke up, I was still crying. I sat up in bed, putting my head in my hands. I took a couple deep breaths which eventually calmed me down. I sighed as I wiped away all my tears.

That dream had to have been because of Dara and I's conversation yesterday. I guess what she said was getting to me much more than I thought it was.. But this dream, just made everything ten times worse. Now I was very worried and insecure about this. 

What if our relationship didn't mean as much to Jack as it does to me? What if it really was 'meaningless'..? 

Great... I already knew that I wasn't going to be able to get this off my mind.. It was clearly unreasonable but I just couldn't see it at the time. But still, I couldn't talk to Jack about this. I knew he was going to blame himself/feel bad if I told him which  couldn't let happen. 

So I had to try my best to forget about it. 

I took a deep breath before getting out of bed and going to my closet. I got dressed in a grey cropped t-shirt with an unzipped army green coloured windbreaker and black ripped jeans. I left my hair down, brushed my teeth, then went outside to meet up with Jack. 

Only a minute after I got outside, Jack did as well. Both of us smiled as we walked up to each other. Once we met in the middle, our arms wrapped around each other, hugging each other. "Good morning." Jack said happily, kissing the top of my head. "Good morning." I smiled, my head moving off his chest as I looked up at him. 

His hands held both sides of my neck as he pressed his lips onto mine. My initial reaction to this was me smiling as I kissed him back but that changed quickly. Soo enough that thought came strongly into my mind. That sickening thought that our relationship was meaningless to Jack. Was that seriously going to happen every time he kissed me..? If it did, I was going to be VERY mad at myself and Dara. 

But as of right now, I just couldn't kiss him since this thought was beginning to overpower my whole mind. I really wanted to kiss him since it was one of my favorite things to do, but this thought was just ruining it completely for me.

So as much as I wanted to kiss him for longer, I pulled back a bit quicker. Luckily he didn't seem to think much of it though as he was still smiling. "So, ready to go?" He asked me in his usual happy tone, letting go of my then grabbing my hand. "Yeah." I smiled as well. 

So, we drove to school. Once we got there, Jack and I said goodbye and we went to our own classes. Once I got to my first period class, I sat at my regular seat. Lucas showed up about a minute later and sat beside me like he has been ever since we made up. 

He greeted me with a smile but because I was so in my thoughts, all I did was mumble a, "Hey.." quietly. Lucas looked back at me. "Are you ok?" He asked me with a small chuckle. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him as well. "Oh uh, y-yeah. I'm fine." I said awkwardly. "Wow, you're a bad liar." He laughed.