Haikyuu X Reader

Tsukishima Kei x Reader

SPACE

The first time I saw her, She wasn't all that. She didn't spark my interest at all even if we spent a lot of time together since her desk was beside mine and she got along with Yamaguchi who you could say, my childhood friend. The days passed by and I started to feel little twinges in my heart every time I see her smile. At first I was confused until reality hit me, I was in love with her.

Every time my name slips out of her mouth, my stomach feels weird, like I'm riding a rollercoaster and was about to drop at the highest peak. My feelings for her grew stronger but I didn't have the guts to ask her out since there were a lot of reasons for my hesitation. As if fate wanted to play a cruel prank on me, she fell in love with my brother and not long after, they started dating.

My heart clenched when they decided to confess to me and my family about their relationship. They had a big age gap but that didn't stop them from loving each other. Sometimes I wish I'd be the one sitting next to you, holding your hand and making you smile brightly. The day I hesitated was the day that I lost you. It was all due to my cowardly side. I didn't have anyone to blame but myself. Doubts and what ifs flood my mind every night.

I wish everything I felt would just disappear. I'm beginning to feel numb from the pain in my heart. My teammates were begining to worry about my health. I couldn't sleep at night, I'd just cry and cry until there's no more tears to shed. I was spacing out when Asahi-san's spike hit my face. My head started to spin until darkness finally swallowed me. I woke up at the clinic with (f/n) beside me sleeping while holding my hand.

Tears started to fall from his eyes again. "Damn.. this is why I can't really hate you (f/n)" Tsukishima mumbles wiping the tears that fell. He patted your head signaling he was awake. You looked at him and stood up abruptly causing the chair you were sitting on to fall with a loud crash. "Kei?! Are you hurt anywhere? Does your forehead hurt?" You panicked touching the red spot on his forehead. He gave you a small smile and shake his head.

You sighed in relief. "Coach said to go home when you wake up. Come on. I'll come with you" you said smiling at a dazed Tsukishima. He nodded and began to get his things. Both of you went home. Tsukishima was looking at your arm as you were walking in front of him. He unconsciously grabbed you arm and you looked at him and smiled. "Yes Kei?" You said as he looked down at you. You tilted your head waiting for him to say something. "I like you" he murmured.

Your eyes widened and you gave him a small smile. "I like you too Kei" he sighed and let go of your arm. "Your like and my like aren't the same" he said before walking ahead of you. You sighed and pulled him. You knew what he meant, you weren't oblivious but now, you are in a relationship with his brother and you're very happy with him. To be honest, you also liked Kei before but you treasured him more as a friend. He looked at you with sad eyes. "I can go home alone (f/n). Please let me be for now." He said and you let him go.

"Before you go, can I say something?" You said as he nodded and waited. "Thank you for confessing to me Kei. I really did like you but right now I'm happy with Akiteru. I love you as a friend too. I hope that even if we're like this now, our friendship will still remain." You gave him a sad smile. "It's selfish of me to want you by my side despite this but I want to be by your side even if it's just being friends but if you still want to have space then I'll give it to you even if I don't want to lose you" you whispered the last part.

He sighed and hugged you tight. "You're so fucking selfish" he murmured as he placed his head on your shoulders and you cried on his chest "I am.." you said as you felt your shoulder starting to get wet. You returned his tight hug. After a while, he lets you go. You can see his eyes were red and your heart clenched. "Could you give me a little space (f/n)? I want to look at you with no regrets but right now, I just can't seem to do it" he said holding your hand. You nodded and smiled at him. "I'll be waiting Kei" he gave you a small smile before turning his back at you and walking back home.

You looked at his retreating figure and sighed as tears started to fall again. You can't describe how you feel. It hurts seeing him like this and I don't want to lose him but right now, I'm genuinely happy with Akiteru. Kei's right. We both need space to clear our feelings. You walked back home and went straight to your room. As you laid on your bed, you looked at the bedside cabinet with a picture of you and Kei together. You grabbed it and placed it face down.

Kei arrived and was welcomed by someone he doesn't want to see. "Welcome home Kei" his brother greeted as he was coming down the stairs. Kei just stared at him and went to his room. Akiteru sighed. He knew his beloved little brother had feelings for you but he too doesn't want to let you go. You were different from the girls he dated before and he wants a future with you. He may love Kei but he doesn't want to let you go and regret it for the rest of his life.

"I guess he needs time to be alone" he murmured while grabbing his shoes as he exited the house. He tried calling you but you didn't answer. He sighed and just drove to your house. As he arrived, he was welcomed by your mother. He kissed her cheek and went up to your room. He could hear sniffs coming from your room and his heart clenched. He knocked and not long after you opened the door with your eyes puffy. "I told you I'm not gonna eat dinner mo-" you didn't finish your sentence as you looked up to see Akiteru with a pained face.

He hugged you and closed the door. His hug made you sob harder. "Don't cry love. Let's lay on the bed" you nodded and went to bed, he laid next to you as he rubbed your back while you were crying. He didn't say a thing, he just rubbed your back and occasionally kiss your head. Which was kinda comforting to you. After a while, you stopped crying and looked up at him. He gave you a small smile and kissed your eyes.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" You murmured and he shook his head. "I kinda guessed what happened but if you want to share it I'm gonna listen" he said as ge wiped some tears that were sliding down your cheeks. You sighed, "Kei confessed and I turned him down. You know I told you that I did like him before right?" You started and he nodded. "But I'm happy with you and I wouldn't want to let this happiness go" you murmured as he held you close to him.

You could feel his heart beat quicken. "I love you (f/n) and I too wouldn't want to let go of what we have right now" he said as he kissed your forehead. "I want to have a future with you in it, by my side as we grow older. I know I'm not perfect and we fight sometimes but I'm positively sure, I love you despite hard times. It may be early to say this but I want to marry you someday when both of us are stable" he said smiling down at you.

Tears started to fall again, you were very happy about his confession and about his marriage proposal to you. You nodded your head. He lifted your chin and placed a long gentle kiss on your lips. As you both parted, you murmured an 'iloveyou' as he replied with an 'iloveyoutoo'

Kei on the other hand was crying his heart out. He may be salty and shitty but he also has feelings. He was clutching his pillow while crying. He needed to let you go and just be friends but his heart doesn't want to. After hours of crying, he finally laid flat on his back and sighed. "I hate being a human... Why can't I be a dinosaur instead?" He murmured as he rubbed his puffy eyes.

"Ugh!!!!" He shouted as he sat up and went to the bathroom to take a bath. When he looked at the mirror, he smiled sadly. "I look like shit. I'm glad we don't have a practice this weekend or I have to kill not only one but four stupid people who'll surely make fun of me" he murmured as he hopped into the shower. After bathing, he went to his closet and grabbed his favorite dinosaur pajamas and a plain tshirt then he grabbed his laptop and played his favorite movie, Jurassic Park. "I'm just gonna binge watch my favorite movies and drown in my sorrow for the whole weekend." He murmured while playing the movie.

~A/n: it took so long for me to give an update. I've been quite busy with the preparations for the Christmas party. Anyways, thank you for waiting and enjoy! 😊

(F/n) first name

Italics - thoughts

Bold - Kei's POV