Assistance Required

A Healthier Coping Mechanism

TW mention of self-harm

Thurs Oct 22

After art class, he was still struggling to figure out what to do for his project. He decided to brainstorm ideas since he couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't think of anything and his thoughts were starting to get to him again.

Pathetic.

Useless.

You can't even come up with one idea?

He growled in frustration as he ripped the paper he was writing on from his notebook. He winced as he realized the paper cut his thumb. He sucked on his thumb while he threw the paper away. He looked at the cut on the side of his thumb. At least it wasn't on purpose. On purpose.

He grabbed another sheet of paper and started sketching. His struggles were a huge part of him. Could they count as part of his identity? He looked over his basic design and more ideas popped into his head. He smiled as he grabbed his phone. He was supposed to email his professor about his concept. He wrote out the email to get his professor's approval before he got too deep into the project. But it was hard. Now that he had the idea, he couldn't just stop. He kept sketching out new ideas.

His phone's screen lit up and he saw he had his professor's approval to work on the project. It was a little more personal than he was usually comfortable sharing, but it just felt right. He changed his mind a couple of times on the general layout of the design, but he was excited now. There was just one problem. He couldn't start on the project yet. He didn't have the materials. They were supposed to have time in class to work on it, but now that he had it all planned out, he just wanted to get started.

He decided since he couldn't work on the actual project, he'd focus on writing what he was going to say during the presentation portion of the project. He was still writing when he heard shuffling to his right. He froze as he heard Logan sit up. There was a pause as he slid out of bed.

"Virgil?" Logan whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What are you still doing up?"

"Did I wake you?"

Logan shook his head.

"No, I need to use the facilities."

"Go do that then!"

Logan left the room returning a few minutes later. Instead of going to his own bed, he sat down on the edge of Virgil's.

"Is everything okay?" Logan asked.

Virgil nodded.

"Yeah, I was just planning out my art project."

He pointed to the pages around him. Logan picked one up and frowned.

"Is this what I think it is?" Logan asked.

Virgil nodded again.

"Yeah, I accidentally cut myself earlier and it reminded me of how I tend to cut myself on purpose when I'm upset. So, this kind of represents that. It mostly represents the struggles I go through dealing with my anxiety and what I went through at home."

"That explains the bottles," Logan muttered as he examined it.

"Yeah, once I found a concept I just got really excited about it. It just sort of... feels right. You know? I just couldn't stop! I can't actually get started on it yet because I don't have the materials unless you have construction paper and scissors?" Logan shook his head. "So, I'm just working on writing what I'm going to say."

"I'm glad you've found a healthier way to cope with your issues," Logan said, "but it's really late and you need some sleep."

"I know! I know! I'll go to sleep in a minute. Let me just-"

"Virgil."

Virgil looked up from his papers to see Logan staring at him intently.

"You need to get some rest. All of this will still be waiting for you tomorrow. It'll be good to come back to it with a fully rested mind. The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you can wake up and gather the materials you need for your project."

Virgil thumbed through his sketchbook. He knew Logan was right, but how could he sleep when his mind was racing? He sighed.

"I just need to get everything that's in my head out onto paper. Right now their all just racing around in my head."

Logan thought about it for a minute.

"That's actually really clever," he said almost to himself.

"What is?"

"Writing down your thoughts," he said tapping the paper. "We said we'd be willing to talk to you, but I know you may feel uncomfortable sharing some of these thoughts. Maybe if you wrote down your insecurities it would have the same effect as talking through them?"

"Huh... I never thought about that."

"And if this works perhaps it will help curve your negative late-night thinking to allow you to receive adequate rest?"

"Maybe..."

Logan gave him a small smile before standing up.

"I think it's worth trying. Please do try to get some rest."

Logan crawled back into his bed leaving Virgil to sit alone in the dark. Virgil stared at the papers in his hands, his project far from his thoughts. A healthier coping mechanism. He hadn't even realized that was what he had done. Instead of dwelling on the negative thoughts that usually plagued him, he turned them into an art project. He put them on paper.

Fri Oct 23

The next day, Virgil could barely pay attention. He was still excited to get started on his project. After his classes, he walked with Patton to the art room to gather supplies. He had asked the professor if he could stop by after class. He found which papers he wanted to use and Patton helped carry them back to the student center. Remus let Virgil borrow his scissors. Virgil worked on his design while he discussed history with Patton.

Patton was very nervous about the midterm next week. The professor had outlined what to expect on the exam so they decided to go over everything on the outline. Virgil couldn't complain, studying with a friend was a great way to refresh his own mind on what was going to be on the exam.

Luckily, Virgil's head wasn't hurting as much as it had been. The accident was almost two weeks ago. Virgil was going to the on-campus doctors to run some tests. If they were concerned about something they might send him to see an off-campus doctor. But, since it was just a few simple tests, they shouldn't have to go far. The others planned on helping him prepare for his other exams. For now, he was just going over notes with Patton while he worked on his art project. He had to admit, it was a really fun way to study.

(A/N below is a rough interpretation of Virgil's sketch for his project.)