Assistance Required

A Shared Past

TW anxiety, cursing

Wed Feb 10

Virgil yawned and rubbed his eyes. He knew he needed to stay awake, but it was hard when his entire body screamed at him to go back to bed. He just stared at the front of the room and hoped it looked like he was paying attention. He was too tired to doodle in his notes. He hadn't even picked up his pencil yet. He wondered if he could get away with a short nap after Spanish? He had two hours before his next class. He could probably set an alarm on his phone or something so he wouldn't miss it.

After Spanish, he walked with Roman to his next class before going to the student center. As much as he wanted to sleep, he ended up getting a coffee instead. He sat down and stared at his phone while slowly sipping his drink. He was too tired to try to entertain himself. His phone just sat on the table and stared back at him. He wanted to turn it on and do something but that would require actually turning on his phone and actively doing something and he didn't want to do all of that. He sighed as he took another sip of coffee.

"Hey, Virgil!" Virgil jumped and choked a little on his coffee at the sudden arrival of the voice next to him. "Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" Patton said as he rushed to get napkins.

Patton helped him clean up some of the coffee that Virgil spat on the table after making sure Virgil wasn't actually dying.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had class," Virgil asked.

"Oh, my professor's sick so we didn't have class. I'm not really sure what to do with myself right now."

"When's your next class?"

"Eleven."

"You could probably get some homework or something done before then."

"Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"I don't own the place. Sit wherever you want."

Patton laughed as he finally sat down. He pulled out a book and opened it before pausing and looking at Virgil.

"Have you eaten yet today?" Patton asked.

Virgil held up his coffee before taking a sip.

"Coffee isn't a proper breakfast!"

"I'll b-be fine."

Virgil noticed his hand shaking again and carefully placed his cup on the table. His heart was racing and he could feel the coming panic. Patton seemed to notice too. He reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of earbuds.

"Want to listen to some music, Kiddo?" Patton asked gently as he handed them to Virgil.

Virgil didn't move. He was grateful but he also felt bad borrowing Patton's stuff. Patton seemed to understand his hesitation and plugged the earbuds into Virgil's phone before placing it in Virgil's hand. Virgil's hands shook as he just accepted Patton's offer and put the earbuds in. He found a calming song and closed his eyes as it played. Patton gently rubbed his back and Virgil let the music soothe him. He could feel himself starting to relax.

He played a few songs before he felt okay enough to go without them. He took a deep breath as he took off the earbuds and set his phone on the table.

"Th-thanks," Virgil muttered. He refused to look at Patton. He didn't like the idea of being seen freaking out for no reason. Patton worried enough about all of them.

"Are you sure you're okay? Don't push yourself."

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I st-started freaking out like that. I don't-don't know why I did."

"Virgil, you have nothing to apologize for. You're fine." Patton bit his lip as he paused as if pondering what to say. He shifted in his seat. "Logan... Logan told me what was happening. He seemed concerned."

Virgil fidgeted with his hoodie sleeves. He kind of expected Logan to tell the others. He still kind of hoped he hadn't. He didn't really like them knowing what was happening.

"I- I don't- Does everyone know?"

Patton shook his head.

"No, he was mostly asking for advice. I think he wants to wait until you're ready for everyone to know. Although, I do think you should tell Roman. He needs to know where your boundaries are and when they change. I think he'd want to know what you want from him in these situations."

"I don't want anything from him! You guys shouldn't have to deal with any of my bullshit! Let alone this!"

"We're your friends, Virgil. We're here for you whether you like it or not. We do care about you and want to help where we can. It's just... what friends do! I mean... you try to help us when you can too. It's the same principle."

"Yeah, but I seem to have a lot more problems then the rest of you."

"And that's fine! No one said it was going to be easy getting past everything you went through, but that doesn't mean you have to go through it alone. I..." Patton looked around the room and shifted in his seat again before lowering his voice. "I don't... remember much from when I was little, but I know it never really leaves you. I still can't stand being alone or in a tight space and sometimes loud noises scare me and I'm not sure if I ever will be able to deal with those things, but I got past most of it. It took a lot of love and time for me to get to where I am today."

Virgil chewed on his lip as he tried to process what Patton said. He never really talked about that part of his past. His dad wasn't really bad when he was little. At least... not to him.

"Where... where was your mom during all of that?" Virgil asked hesitantly.

Patton stared at Virgil for a minute. He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

"I don't know what happened to her. She kind of... disappeared after Melany was born. I can't even picture her face."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Patton waved it off.

"It's fine. I have two moms now who love me. I know for sure they love and want me because they chose to adopt me." Patton smiled. "And I don't always get to see my sister, but I still love her and we spend as much time together as we can when we are together. They're the family I choose to acknowledge. They helped me become the person I am today. Your biological family may be a bit of a mess, but that's why you have us. I like to consider you guys family too."

Virgil smiled.

"Thanks, Patton."

Patton smiled and pulled Virgil into a hug.

"You're welcome, Kiddo! Just... don't give up. No matter how hard it gets; keep fighting."